I did go off the hCG because I kept binging and I let myself go badly. A LOT has happened in the last week and things began unraveling to the point the hCG was just helping pack on pounds. I dropped back to my last dosage weight after a major crisis. A friend's wedding is on the verge of cancellation so me and a fellow bride's-maid-maybe went to see her and help her cope through this bad time. We all emotionally ate together, I ate the most just on par with my eating habits during emotional times, and yet we vented to the point I realized I know better now. I knew how uncomfortable I was after I left and I swore I'd do my damnedest to get back on track.
I forgave myself for the out of control behavior, and let go of this want to eat to soothe my emotional demons. I channeled all my anger and rage when I was confronted by two people who I have issues with and managed to turn the other cheek, not speak, and that gave me a lot of power. I hate to sound all gushy, but it centered me. I can remain tactful, classy and I can be my own person; I needn't be nice to everyone and crush myself over things that shall pass. That's a huge step for the super-sweetheart-take-whatever-they-give-you kinda kitten I can be.
I really came to terms with my self control these last few days, aligned some major objectives I was lacking (that make me feel out of control and can provoke a binge), cleaned the house, remodeled my chicken brooder, avoided going out to eat, ate lightly, and rechecked my self with hunger and eating when I needed to. I'm not saying it was perfect, I'm say it's a process and I'll get there - I promised myself that I will get there - and it is my priority to see 185. I'm pushing myself, challenging myself and rewarding myself with helping myself out. Success means a lot to me in the world of weight loss. Keeping it off is then the priority, and on this diet much more manageable then I've ever experienced.
Tomorrow I am back on the bandwagon. A friend is starting in two weeks (ish), and I'm helping two other people on their rounds. That adds to stress but it helps me admit my faults and keep going seeing others succeed. I also realized my stomach issues have also been abuse of hot sauce so that's going way for awhile. Lettace tastes the best on the diet anyway for me, so I'll manage.
Thank you all for posting, you all probably have a really good idea how impacting this forum is on us, but I'll be another to reiterate how absolutely wonderful it is to have a group on here. It makes this process so much more enriching, gives me an outlet and a helping hand when I need one, and I will say that the EFT is an idea I've always pawned off as for cheesy people. It's not. I finally broke down and did it, and I really thank you for that little tidbit; between that and hours of watching Ruby, yeah, it helped.
Again, thank you all! It's appreciated beyond words.