You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

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ROFLMAO

Thanks! I needed a good laugh this morning. We can always count on our Queen!

..........I need to find the person who stole my arms........

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! OMG, I'm crying from laughing so hard. Seriously, I remember a few years back when I had lost some weight and one day i was putting dishes away and I felt a little "flapping" and I looked and as I was reaching to the cupboards I saw the flabby arms and was horrified that those arms belonged to me!!! It was a very good realization moment that it might be time to try some strength training. Thank you so much for the good laugh and humorous post!

psjack- this is part of the queen's job. :) Stress causes stalls, and endorphins promote better health! might be time to resurrect some of the old laughs for the newbies... i'll go looking!