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  1. alouise26's Avatar
    This protocol is a huge challenge no matter who you are. I am a parent as well, and it's definitely hard to follow this protocol in conjunction with children, husband and life in general. I totally understand feeling dissatisfied with one's body. I could even make a stretch and say I have some disgust for my body(however to a lesser extent since releasing nearly 100 lbs). However, is it the number you are after? 115lbs? Or health? or.....8 pounds to loose isn't much, that could be why this program is especially challenging for you. When you have less to loose, it goes slower and is also more challenging. You are so close and probably even in the range of a healthy weight for your height. I am not trying to discourage you from the protocol, but maybe it's not for you? I have read a few of your blog posts and it seems like you are a very physically active person and a relatively healthy eater. Since you do have such a little amount to loose, my instinct tells me that you should continue your running and activities and maybe try to just reduce the amount of calories required for your height and weight by about 500-600/day and you will get there before you know it. You will feel more satisfied by eating more food and hopefully let go of the guilt you might be experiencing from not being able to follow the hcg protocol. Nevertheless, I enjoy your posts and your determination is inspiring!
  2. MominCali's Avatar
    Thanks, girls, for taking the time to read and respond to my rants!

    I think you all make good points: I *really* want to be my '07 weight (115lbs), but I'm not really miserable where I am, either. Like many things, dissatisfaction is multi-faceted and complex. Are there other things in my life I'd like to change? Yes! Is losing 8 pounds the most pressing issue? No. But, it's the one I can control the most. It's the most attainable. Maybe there's a part of me that thinks that if I at least check off the "attained '07 weight" box on my list that the others won't look so daunting. Maybe I'm kidding myself!
    Esspressowhip had a great idea about moving into P3 -- it's a lot like South Beach, which I've found healthy and doable; it's also like the Body For Life plan. The exercise part of the latter I still use, years later. She also questioned my commitment (rightly so), so I need to examine why I eat outside of the protocol. If I want to lose weight, and the protocol will get me there (I have no doubt), why am I not doing it? If I'm honest with myself, it's because I really like food, and I don't like denying myself. I'd rather run miles every day than give up a cookie. But, at this point in my life, at 41, I can't just exercise excess weight away. The silver lining in all this is that I think, from the avoidance I did manage in P2, I found some food sensitivities. This will make it all the easier to avoid these substances in P3. I've also been toying with the idea of being a pescatarian for health reasons, not because I think meat is wrong... maybe make one change at a time!
    Laura is right -- P2 is a hard program to do with kids and summer activities; come to think of it, it never sounds easy, any other time either!
    Thanks, ladies! You're all gems!
    xoxo Best luck in this next week!
    Here we go again!
  3. Laurarosee's Avatar
    Hang in there. I too felt like throwing in the towel this week. Stalls and busy days where it was very hard to find anything protocol as I was running from here to there and getting sugar OD'd on Nyquil of all things. If you really truly feel like your body is too big for your liking and are unhappy with it then stick with it. Or as expresso says move on to P3 and allow yourself some breathing room and weight loss there. I get our issues and with kids and visitors and work and running around, P2 is a tough protocol to stay with, even when youb really, really want to. We're here when you feel like griping. Good Luck!!!
  4. CrittleBug's Avatar
    It happens to us all. We get stressed out and we eat. That's been all of our comforts and that's why were all here. I have a family and 4 kids and I know how hard it can be when your busy and when you giving your kids snacks and can't have any. It sux! I cook dinner every night and can't have any. I have a 1 year old daughter who I have to feed all the time and it's really hard to have all that good food right in your face and not be able to eat it. So I really do understand where your coming from. There's 2 ways to look at it.... Either your really unhappy with your body and you've just gotta buckle down and stick to it and get where you want to be. Or maybe subconsciously you do like your body and you should just learn to except that. I know everyone thinks that their body could be better, but your not big. I wish I was your size! But it only matters what we think of ourselves! So you need to figure out what you want. If you want to be littler than put your mind to it. You can do it as long as you want it. Just make sure it's for you and not for anybody else! But if you decide that you do like the way you are, then embrace that and don't let anybody change your mind! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or how anyone else looks. As long as your happy with yourself and the way you look that's all that matters! I really hope you figure it out. If you need anything, want to chat, or just need some support I'm here. You can email me anytime. Good Luck
  5. Espressowhip's Avatar
    If you feel supported, then you belong here. Don't forget your value of supporting others! You know how valuable a few kind words are (even from a skinny-mini like you)!

    I found out I was allergic to wheat when I went OFF Atkins. I was totally sick, like a hangover - it was that bad, and upon further examination found myself telling the doctor how sick I get with bread and pasta, and voila... it's an allergy! I was 42 and didn't know I had a food allergy! Holy ignoramous Batman! It's probably been there my whole life! My life quality has improved now that I know to avoid certain foods. There's plenty more to food than bread and pasta (although it didn't seem so at first). It doesn't mean I never eat bread or pasta, it just means I limit myself, and the only time I eat it is when it's really amazing quality stuff only a half-dead-fool would pass up! And I know that when I eat it there is a risk of not feeling 100% for a day or two after. What I want to say in not so many words is; a suspected reaction to food is totally worth looking into!

    P2 is brutal!

    Why don't you just jump into P3 and see how that works for you? P3 is a perfectly acceptable diet that you can loose weight on. P2 is for extreme and quick reduction plan... P3 is for normal levels of dieting including reduction. I think at your size you are allowed to work your way through P3 - whereas (at your size) P2 is splitting hairs -not that there's anything wrong with splitting hairs at your size, but it seems to be driving you a little bonkers! Don't go bonkers bunny...transition to P3 and see how that works for you. You can always go back to P2 when you are ready and feel properly motivated, but don't drive yourself crazy trying to do something you aren't ready to do!

    I take it from your recommendation on my blog that you value words onna page. Based on what you've written here, about your desire to change contradicts your ability/willingness to commit, I'd like to recommend a book to you. It's called, "The Easy Weigh to Loose Weight", by Alan Carr. There is NO diet program associated with this book. In fact, the message is painfully simple and when you first start reading it you'll think it's a crock and the author is high on something you'd very much like to try on a weekend when the kids are away. There is no easy way, and the book acknowledges this right off - but what the book relies on is; the meditative state one gets into when reading.

    It's repetitive, and at times that repetition annoyed me, but this guy has cured millions of their smoking addiction with this self-hypnotic style of writing, so there's something to it! You don't have to believe everything he says (I didn't buy but a fraction of his logic), rather I recommend reading it when you are calm, and relaxed. I recommend it because I thought it was B.S.- and THEN... I didn't eat chocolate for 2 years!

    The very thought of eating chocolate ignited my gag reflex. I'm not at all joking! I thought dairy was of the devil, and as a former Baskin-Robbins Gold Membership card holder, I could hardly believe myself. This guy has a way of working on your subconscious in the most positive way, and if you need a little extra push - this might do it for you, too.

    But be careful, you might become a food Nazi. I almost did, but I learned to zip-it before offending anyone with the mantra from the book.

    I have since gone back to enjoying chocolate, but in such small quantities and so infrequently...it's just sick and wrong - the casual observer might think I didn't like chocolate at all! But I do, I swear I do...I'm not abnormal! I just don't want to "poison" my body with such toxic, processed crap. .. .. ... see?! Freakish, right?

    Try the book! It's small, and 'used' on amazon it's cheap... you've got nothing to loose but the desire to eat food which sabotages your desire to be at your ideal weight!

    Have a lovely time pool side, and eat sauces and dips and whatever else is necessary for such social events! Then get your skinny butt-insky back here to indulge in more motivation, both giving and receiving!

    Enjoy yourself!
  6. MominCali's Avatar
    Hahahaha! Yeah, I'm in the East Bay - lots of translucent folks up here. Thank you for your kind words; they're a motivation for me!
  7. Espressowhip's Avatar
    Listen here skinny *****... I don't want to hear any more criticism out of you!

    It's hard to believe that's a mom's body!! You look great, even by California standards (although where's the bronze coloring? You must be in the north!)!! Ahhh... to have a waist...you know I'm just jealous. I'll get back to where I can criticize the smallest of details too...those were the days!

    Keep up the good work!
  8. MominCali's Avatar
    I know, I'm crazy. These admissions are only possible with perfect strangers living in far-away places like Germany . These are really raw thoughts, and I have to say, that if someone said this to me, I'd tell her to get a grip and have a piece of cake... I mean really, people are dying around the world and you're worried about fitting back into your size 2 Lucky jeans slumping forlornly in the closet...

    I guess I tie too much of my worth in my body and my self image fluctuates with each pound lost or gained. You described this so eloquently in one of your blog posts. It could be, too, that California culture is so unforgiving of deviations from Barbie...

    The funny thing is that I'm the thinnest woman in my set of associates. If anyone could, it would be I who could sit back, have a hamburger (in the bun) and enjoy the pool party... I guess I truly feel that at this party, if I don't like them, at least I could out-thin them.

    I guess I'll skip the colonic...

    Updated August 15th, 2011 at 08:03 AM by MominCali
  9. Espressowhip's Avatar
    Colonics are a little taste of hell in the form of humiliation and torture. I know some people swear by them, and it was those people who convinced me I'd feel amazing afterward. What they didn't warn me of is what it would feel like during. Not for me and I wouldn't ever tell anyone to get one unless it's medically necessary.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You've been honest about cheating, so you know why you didn't loose. If you starve yourself for a week you can loose 5lbs, but is 5lbs going to make that big of a difference to "friends"? And where will this 5lbs come from? Maybe it'll come from your arms or your ankles...you don't get to choose where the weight loss comes from. And water weight can fluctuate up to 11lbs overnight, so just relax skinny-minnie and enjoy your pool party!

    The only reason a perfectionists doesn't succeed is because they haven't invested - maybe this program isn't something you can invest in and something else will work better. And with kids - seriously...how any parent can diet with kids around is beyond me. I get cravings for a bowl of capt'n crunch when I hear children playing outside! ha!ha!
  10. Espressowhip's Avatar
    Digital scales are sensitive. If you read the instructions on "how to use"...and who does that except me?...but it says to step on gently and evenly and then don't move until the measurement has stabilized. It's a lot to remember first thing in the morning. I have a super fancy medical-grade scale and it does the same thing if I step onto it without doing so gingerly.

    Yeah..anyway...good job on the loss!
  11. MominCali's Avatar
    Ok -- going scale shopping...
    With all the people so health-conscious out here, there should be no problem finding one with relative accuracy!
  12. MominCali's Avatar
    LOL! For a 5'5" 41-yr old, I'm not too shabby -- I can clean up ok, but you'll usually find me in sweats (much to hubby's dismay) around the house. I told him if he wants me to look like June Cleaver, he needs to look like the guy from Mad Men... I'm also a bit of a vintage dress freak (love Etsy).

    No, not everyone in CA is thin; at least not everyone in San Fran is thin. Actually, between Berkeley and SF, I'd be happy if all the hippies bathed, forget being fit...
    What difference I *do* see, is that it's a lot like Europe in that there are some people who are overweight, but not many really obese people. Then again, most people work out or walk/bike a lot. Way more bike racks here. A lot more fake boobies, too... It's sort of making me nervous, because the last time I got below 120 my chest shrank, too...
  13. Laurarosee's Avatar
    Splurge on the scale. Theres got to be good ones out there. Maybe I should have kept stepping on mine this morning..lol!!
  14. Laurarosee's Avatar
    I was curious how tall you were. Is everybody in California thin? Relatively speaking to NY? I am sure you are one hot momma!!!
  15. MominCali's Avatar
    Like many people, I have a complicated weight history. I had been a size 6 most of my adult life (~130-135lbs), I worked out every day, thought I looked pretty good, and, although it would have been nice to be a size 4, I didn't stress over it and had my cake and ate it, too! BTW, I'm 5'5".

    5 years ago, when I moved to CA from NY, it was a difficult transition time for me in every way, I had trouble eating, and went from a post-partum 152 to 113 in 6 months. Although parts of my life were really miserable, I was now shopping for a size 1. It was strange, but I felt a sense of accomplishment and control over that one part of my life. Once my existence improved dramatically, this weight was difficult to maintain because I'm a foodie -- love all kinds of things, especially chocolate -- and California is a foodie paradise. I had never seen people so obsessed about food quality (not quantity) before! I really didn't want to gain the weight back, but was having fun experimenting with all the wonderful choices! Anyway, I gained some back (obviously), and I've felt like a failure for not being back to about 115, which is, for some reason, my magic number. After I turned 41 a few months ago, I decided I would try to get back to that weight if that's what made me happy. I was tired of hearing myself say, "If only I could get back to 115, I could wear those jeans, and that dress, and ...".

    So, here I am...

    Thank you so very much for your kind words. I've enjoyed your exchanges and found them really encouraging. I really think you're amazing; mom, lawyer, dieter... congratulations on your success, too! You're right, post-cycle is the easiest time to lose. I look forward to it!

    Until tomorrow...

  16. Laurarosee's Avatar
    MominCali you are doing great. Think about it, in less than 2 weeks you lost 6 pounds. Isn't that amazing. That would never happen on weight watchers. You go girl. BTW, you are only in the 120's? Do you even need to lose weight? How tall are you? The next 9 days are going to be even better b/c you will be on the good side of your cycle.
  17. MominCali's Avatar
    It does sound bad! By chips i mean homemade whole wheat pita chips with hummus. I'm not standing around flinging Pringles at them
    But yes, I should have eaten before the guests arrived (had to feed the adults, too) or serve everyone apples.

    But I'm sick of apples...
  18. Laurarosee's Avatar
    I gain when I look at chips. And they have always been my favorite snack food. Honestly, they ruin the losses in P2. I've tried a small amount of dreamland pasta, only 5 digestible carbs Gained. Ate some, only some of the crunchy things on top of a McD's SW chicken salad. Gained. Had chicken and rice soup when I got sick on Sunday. Gained. I'll add them in slowly and carefully in P4 but sick of ruining good loss days on P2. Is there a snack that is protocol friendly for playdates? Sliced apples?
  19. MominCali's Avatar
    Yes, I've read P&I and I have read here on the forum that dose has a lot to do with hunger. So, I'm playing a little bit to see what works best to avoid too much discomfort. I'm not unmanageably hungry, but i had expected not to be hungry at all. The moderators were nice, but were clear that, at 123 pounds and 5'5", this diet might not be for someone who doesn't really need to lose weight but just wants to get extra lean (Dr. S. touches on this topic when he refers to too). I was reluctant to try Hcg at all, but saw others getting down to 120, 118, even 106.

    I think the biggest factor in weight gain for me is how different a diet plan is from what I will really eat for the rest of my life. That might mean that I need change what "normal" is, and the diet is the training ground...

  20. 2manydaystillfri's Avatar
    If you are hungry maybe your dose is off? You may lose abnormal fat (then regain) Have you read P & I? Consult one of the mediators experienced with rx they are familiar with most hunger issues!
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