Antha

A drama filled day. Ex-husband. Second opinion. I guess that's enough said, even though I'm still stewing about it. Here's the gist: he's a controlling, manipulative sociopath with a God-complex/superiority complex. I took my daughter to the doctor today. I told the ex her diagnosis. He insists on seeing HIS doctor. I relent. We drive 30 minutes to his doctor. His doctor gives him the diagnosis that HE wanted and had already decided on. Because he got a "last minute appointment", he wanted my daughter and I ready in 15 minutes and we raced off to save the ex's ego.

Because of this, I missed lunch. After all the waiting (for the second time that day) and getting the prescription filled...it was 4 PM. I decided to eat 7 oz. of thin cut eye of round steak instead of mixing my proteins. Emotionally exhausted and feeling like Mike Tyson had bitten my ear off, I didn't feel like doing veggies or anything. Steak was what I had ready to go for dinner.

When I am upset, I lose my appetite (hence, losing 40 pounds in the divorce). I forced down my steak, that I usually love, and it was tasteless to me. I ate before 5 PM. Yesterday, I ate before 5 PM and it caused a 1.4 lb drop after several days of .2-.4 lb losses. Hopefully, today will treat me similarly.

It wasn't planned, but my daughter and I will be going to bed early (she needs to rest). I don't want to set my alarm and get up later just to eat, or try to stay up when I'm exhausted mentally. I know a "steak day" isn't for P2. Would this be considered that? I don't know. Tomorrow will go better. There is no way I'm going to any doctors tomorrow and spending the whole day in waiting rooms, so its got to be better. I'll eat better tomorrow; kiddo and I will hang out another day at home snuggling and watching tv.

So far, I've lost about 15 lbs. I have about 15 more I want to get off this round. If the losses would be a bit bigger, I'd be happier. Maybe I went through a "slow down" period but not a true stall. I'd like to get back up to .5 a day.

My hips have lost about 2 inches. I now fit into the size 14 jeans comfortably. HOWEVER, since no inches have gone from my stomach, the jeans do not look very good on me because the hips being smaller makes the stomach LOOK bigger and sort of stick out and give that "muffin top" kind of look. Still, I felt happy that they fit perfectly on my hips. I am swimming in my size 16s and need a belt for all or they will fall off my butt. A .5 inch off my neck. No loss on thighs, upper arms. 1" gone from calves and breasts.

I'm really hopeful that people are right and that the inches part will come in P3. I care more about what I see in the mirror and in my clothes more than what the scale weighs.

I could go to sleep right now. I hate drama. Other than the ex, I don't have much drama in my life, unless you count telling my 5 year-old that we are not getting her a toy every time we walk into a store.