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Losing Before 30

P2: D37

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by
Aquatica
, February 2nd, 2015 at 02:10 PM (1312 Views)
I'm getting down to the scrapings of the bottle and find myself nervous yet so excited for P2 to finally come to a close. It signifies the end of my journey, and time for me to reflect on multiple areas of my life. Such as, what are my new short term goals to meet my long term goal? How will I change my life from here? How will this affect my family and those around me? And most of all, how will it affect my emotional health and well being?

I've been very happy with my results and progress with hCG. Sure, there were times where I was jealous of those losing more than me but I mentally talked to myself about how each person's body reacts differently to medication (tapping into my courses of human biology and study of diseases), and have felt happy for others that are doing great on their journey. Like another group member explained, everyone's results will vary.

I've been trying to keep my spirits high through this journey, tapping into old thoughts and feelings that put me here in the first place. I've believed that people could control their own fate/outcomes and the problem with believing that, is practicing it. I've always wanted to not be "the fat girl" and realized that only I call myself that. All the people I surround myself with don't see me as "the fat girl" but as ME. Even though I thought I learned about body shamming, I'm still doing it to myself and that's something I need to stop in order to progress.

Thankfully, a lot of positive events is happening in my life that is helping me meet other goals besides health focused. Another goal I wanted was to start being more social and active in my volunteer group. So that I don't have to mask anything I'm talking about, I'm just going to lay all cards out on the table. My husband is active duty army and the volunteer group I'm in is called: Family Readiness Group. It's there for soldiers and their family members, sets up family events, and is purely ran off of donations and fundraisers. I have an active role in this group in charge of the finances.

This has helped me in my social aspects of working with other people, planning, and having an active role in supporting my husband's career. It's had a positive impact in multiple ways from learning how to fundraise, and appreciating others who have been in this role. It's more work than someone would think, especially with all the paper trails and paper work you need to make sure is filed before you're able to spend any money on an event. It's been great to get me out of my shell and start meeting new people, but also doing what I love: helping others.

The reason I wanted to participate in the medical field was to help others. Sadly, I don't have the stomach for being a nurse and instead moved toward a paper-pushing job in billing/coding. Now, I'm able to help others, not because I have to, but because I want to. Someone's spouse is having surgery? That's what the family group is for. Someone needs help moving? Same. Sick? Had a baby? Etc.

I feel that mental and physical health go hand-in-hand, and feel like I'm a prime example of that. As my physical health improves, so does my mental health. I'm coming out of my shell, have more confidence (even though I thought I had a lot), and opening up more instead of being so guarded and closed off.

I can't wait for P3/P4 to fly by so I can start another round soon-ish. I have a lot to lose and a good amount of rounds to go before I meet my goals.

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Categories
Round 1 , Emotional Progresses

Comments

  1. LovesMeSausagePibble's Avatar
    I totally understand the struggle to compare your results to those of others. It was hard for me (especially during stalls or slow loss weeks) to see people who seem to net high losses through the whole process. But I recognize that my body is still having big losses and lasting losses at that. It's losing at a pace that works for it and its' recovery needs. I have to stop thinking about this like a traditional diet because it's not. It's a lasting diet where the weight WILL stay off if I can correct my relationship with food. It's not something I'll have to repeat to lose those same 25 pounds in the future. I could potentially be done with dieting forever in a year or two. That's phenomenal. I need to take it slow because slow lets my mind heal along with my body. These are the things I try to remind myself of when I'm feeling despair about my current state. I'm not sure if that will lend you aid or push you down a rabbit hole to finding your own logical mantras.

    I do feel that digging deep into what led each of us to where we are is crucial to healing our mental wounds for the future. I think that addressing the symptoms without looking to the root cause will be frivolous and not lead to lasting results. If we want to heal our emotional issues, we have to address the beginning and the journey that led to them. No band-aid solutions. We need to stitch them up and treat them properly. I think you've been doing a fantastic job of analyzing that and that's definitely on the path to an eventual complete recovery.

    I'm so glad that you're pursuing other goals outside of your diet. I think that bouncing off of the diet's kickstart to other areas of your life you deem needing improvement is perfect. Let it be the jump your batteries needed to work like new. And how perfect that this all coincides with a brand new year. 2015 is the year that takes us to the start of a healthier life. Ahhh! Symbolism.

    You have a lot to lose, but you could be very close to the end by the end of this year. 365 days. When you consider how many days it took you to get to where you are now and how many days you have left ahead of you, 365 days to remove that almost in entirety or reverse it is a drop in the bucket. It seems daunting now, but before we know it, 2015 will be reaching its' end and we'll be heaps closer to our end goal if we haven't quite made it yet. You've got this! We've got this.
  2. Aquatica's Avatar
    "I have to stop thinking about this like a traditional diet because it's not. It's a lasting diet where the weight WILL stay off if I can correct my relationship with food."

    That's where I am as well. This diet feels like it helps change the relationship with food. A lot of foods I used to love don't taste that great anymore.

    " I need to take it slow because slow lets my mind heal along with my body. These are the things I try to remind myself of when I'm feeling despair about my current state. I'm not sure if that will lend you aid or push you down a rabbit hole to finding your own logical mantras. "

    I know what you mean, I'm one of those people that want to do everything right now. No waiting, immediately. That's something I need to work on. Patience will help me get results. I think the next time I do this diet might be to aid in baby-weight gain. I really hope that my relationship with food moves to a positive place because I don't want to be in this place again.

    "I do feel that digging deep into what led each of us to where we are is crucial to healing our mental wounds for the future. I think that addressing the symptoms without looking to the root cause will be frivolous and not lead to lasting results. If we want to heal our emotional issues, we have to address the beginning and the journey that led to them. No band-aid solutions. We need to stitch them up and treat them properly. I think you've been doing a fantastic job of analyzing that and that's definitely on the path to an eventual complete recovery. "

    I absolutely agree and thank you

    "You have a lot to lose, but you could be very close to the end by the end of this year. 365 days. When you consider how many days it took you to get to where you are now and how many days you have left ahead of you, 365 days to remove that almost in entirety or reverse it is a drop in the bucket. It seems daunting now, but before we know it, 2015 will be reaching its' end and we'll be heaps closer to our end goal if we haven't quite made it yet. You've got this! We've got this."

    Yes, we've got this! Selfishly, I hope I can get near my goal weight by the end of the year but the other part of me doesn't mind pushing into 2016 if I get a spawnling