Diary of a Baby Sea Turtle

this morning, i woke up to 3 lbs above my LIW, a bloated stomach, and a lot of stress. i decided to do fage for breakfast and lunch, and then fish for dinner.

i actually managed fage for breakfast and lunch, a think thin bar after working out (similar fat/protein ratio as yogurt) and half of a leafy green drink. i took it into the restaurant and ordered fish - and was sipping my drink thinking it would be good to have the ginger and greens in my stomach so that i could poop - as constipation has been an issue for me.

well, i started vomiting about 15 minutes after beginning my juice. my fish arrived while i was in the bathroom trying to stop being sick. trying and failing... luckily a friend of mine works at the restaurant -- she boxed up the fish, got my bag from coat check and put me in a taxi so i could get home. i was so embarrassed but she was really sweet about the whole thing.

once i was home i laid down for a bit and when the acidy throw up feeling in my stomach was too much for me to take anymore i got up and had a little bit of fage spread on a piece of ezekiel bread. i sure hope that the bread doesn't have starch in it - the starch is supposedly sprouted out, but who knows. either way, i had to settle my stomach.

laura -- p3d1 i had a chocolate protein shake for breakfast with a quarter piece of ezekiel bread and almond butter, lunch: 4 oz burratta cheese with tomatos and olive oil, then a piece of halibut grilled (with oil i'm sure), and for dinner a piece of bass grilled, braised in oil, and i had wine at lunch and dinner. i also had an apple, a pear and some cashews as a snack and i did pilates and ballet that day. i ate 1,955 calories and was perfectly stable the next morning. if only p3 could have continued on in this vein... i should have known something was up when i didn't poop the next morning. c'est la vie.
p3d2 i had nothing to do as it was saturday so i basically had protein shakes made with almond milk, ezekiel bread and apples covered in almond butter, cheese and berries, and a bunch of cashews. all while sitting in front of the tv. 2300 calories
p3d3 more of the same, except i noticed that my weight had risen a bit and i hadn't pooped so i took some mag citrate and vitamins - gave me wicked indigestion but no poop, and i went to soak in some hot tubs, but nothing got to moving... i had fish for dinner cooked in oil and ended up at 2200 calories. i took 4 senna laxatives that night.
p3d4 i didn't poop. i was up .6 from my LIW. and i told myself i was done with the almond butter. but the almond butter was not done with me. i think i'm craving some nutrient that's in almonds. i had a massage in the morning, i hadn't had one in 6 weeks so i had one although i dont think that changed my intestinal health at all... anyway, i ate 2400 calories of food, including a green leafy veggie drink with ginger and a huge piece of dover sole for dinner. i was fit to burst and finally i did. but my bm was not satisfactory - my stomach was swollen and hardened afterwards, so bloated - beyond anything i'd ever seen on my own body before. i decided just to drink water and go to bed.
p3d5. today. up 3lbs over liw. no poop. menu above. pilates class was easy today. vomiting around dinner time, one poop finally, and a total of less than 700 calories for the day.

my mom says its a strength that i can go back and look at what i did wrong because i'm so systematic about the things that i do, so i have records and memories that are accurate... i see what she means but its hard when i know its my own fault that i'm getting poor results.... the only thing worse than knowing it's my fault is worrying that i can't fix it...

i'm going to eat like i did on the first day of p3 for the next few days if my weight goes down. if my weight doesn't go down tomorrow, i'll have to try to correct again, i suppose.

wish me luck tomorrow. i didn't correct properly today and i was really far under calories so i'll need all the luck i can get.