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Need some serious inspiration...

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I have no motivation. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
I tried cycling. I haven't been on here in quite some time because I bombed horribly. The first couple "cycles" went really well, but then I started losing just a few pounds, and gaining it all back my next "p3" cycle. I can't even tell you how my days went, there was no rhyme or reason to it, but the long and short of it was, it didn't work for me. I keep telling myself it was just an experiment, no harm no foul, but it's still frustrating.
I am getting ready to start my last and final real round. I should be happy and proud of myself. I am fitting into a loose size 7 jean. A year and a half ago I would have gladly given my left big toe to be this size. But regardless of what sizes I'm wearing, I still look in the mirror and see the fat girl. What if I lose this next 15 lbs and STILL see the fat girl? What then? I think I'm more irritated with myself thinking I'm never going to be happy and do I really want to keep going and torture myself when it's not going to change my self image? Or maybe I'm just having a rotten couple of weeks and this too shall pass.....

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