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I'm reluctantly back on the HCG wagon

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Hello there,

This is going to be a long one so buckle in!

When I wake up on Saturday, I will start attempt number 376 at P1. I'm committed, but I'm not happy about it. I'll get over that.
Some background:
After loosing almost 100 lbs 7 years ago and keeping most of it off for 5 years, the last 2.5 years have seen a series of transitions, life, family and career stresses (including a major surgery) that led to me gaining about 60lbs. In the past two years I've had multiple false starts on this diet, mainly because I simply wasn't committed. Not only did I lack the energy and desire, I've been desperate for success on any other form of diet that would allow me a sense of moderation and normalcy. Hcg provides neither. But, my body doesn't like to loose weight, my metabolism is slow and so the story goes.

I realize now that if I'd worked on accepting my body at 10lbs higher than my ideal 50-60lbs ago, I may not have gotten to this point. HCG worked, but it also made me terrified of food, and now that I'm not anymore I'm afraid that this diet of extremes will ruin my relationship with food again. But I hate the feeling of being trapped in a body I'm not comfortable with even more, so here I am.

This week I accepted that I'm not going to enjoy any diet, but this one works, so I'm committed to doing it regardless. My goal is to do it, and this time listen to my body, and work on finding a place I feel both free and happy within in. So, while I will track my losses each week, I'm not going to weigh every day. I went from a size 2-4, to now being a size 12-14. I'd like to get back to a size 6 one day. This blog will be my way if holding myself accountable. The last time this diet worked, besides doing the protocol with minimal rougery, being in the HDI community was key.

Size 6 jeans here I come?

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