makana

Have been feeling REALLY down about my progress the past few days. Things have not been great emotionally and the stress and loneliness have really been getting to me. My attitude has been "what's the point?!?" I keep working so hard and making all these sacrifices and don't see hardly any progress, nor do I have any support. So, feeling sorry for myself.
That ends today! I woke up to a 1.4 pound loss this morning-on day 15! Wow!!!! Thrilled with that, about time. It took 5 days to lose the previous 2 pounds, so I was ready for a big loss. I needed it to keep me going. The other thing I have been hesitant to post is about my shopping experiences. The first time, I thought it was a fluke, just a one time, mis-labeled item. But went to the mall again today and bought clothes that fit...in a size 12!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I am still in shock. There are no X's in front of the L's on the tags of my clothes!!!!! I am completely floored! I was at Old Navy last week and bought size large stuff and a couple XL's, but their stuff is so inconsistent that I did not think anything of it. Knew I was going down in sizes, just did not want to get my hopes up. But I am officially out of options where I have been shopping for nearly 10 years-Lane Bryant. Nothing fits me anymore from there! The down side is, I don't know how to shop at a normal store anymore. I have not been in the mall for myself in years...a new skill I have to relearn. But, I am glad that the options are open.
This is great timing because I may be needing more clothes very soon...I have an interview tomorrow! Got the call tonight for a bank in town, they want to see me tomorrow! I have not had a job interview in 12 1/2 years...don't know how to do this anymore. But so glad I have started to lose and change my attitude towards myself. I finally feel like I don't have to hide anymore, I can walk in proud of who I am. As I was trying on clothes today and looking at my body, I realized I have stopped trying to hide in my clothes. I was rejecting items that hid my waist, that took away my shape and curves...what a huge change that is! Not that I don't have problem areas and some bulges left, they are there, no denying it. But, that is the minority now, I can see that I have a nice shape forming and I want to show it off...with the help of my Spanx! LOL!
That is about it for tonight, want to prep for my interview tomorrow, maybe some yoga before bed. In 12 hours I am going to be a nervous wreck! Hope I can sleep!