makana

So, I normally blog at night, and recap the day...but I have been so tired the past few days that I have no brain energy left to do that. But I want to catch up on where I am and what I am thinking. Feel like I have hit some major emotional and mental moments lately.
As of this morning, I am 182.0, only a .2 loss for today, but I know why-had milk in my tea, worked out hard and not enough water. So, will stretch a lot today, drink lots of water and see what tomorrow brings. Overall, I am down 10.8 pounds in 10 days. Feeling really good about that as this is round 2 and I did not know what to expect. Going to measure today, but that will be more of a mental thing as I am sure I was bloated and retaining tons of water when I measured at the start of P2.
I have had a major realization this week as I was looking over my chart and list of goals. I am only 18 pounds away from no longer being overweight! That is huge seeing as I started out with a BMI of obese! Would love, love, LOVE to hit that this round, but know that is not realistic. I know that is a lot of weight, but so little compared to where I started. Am planning on another short round after this anyway, as just getting to the healthy weight range is not my goal weight...but it is a pretty great milestone!!!! And if I can lose another 12 pounds, I will have hit my lightest weight in 9 1/2 years. Now, that was a huge mental blow-I have lost almost a decade to my fat. To see that in black and white, knowing I have been overweight or obese for nearly a decade, that made me cry. But, I am determined that I will not give up anymore life to this "disease".
Thinking about lowering my goal weight, would rather be on the lower healthy range on the BMI scale instead of just mid. But mentally, I think I need to have the first goal be closer, be able to hit that, see how I feel and look and then go from there. Going to finish this long round, then the short round and then take November and December off. With the trip to HI, holidays and the hectic schedule during that time, I want to show myself I can make great choices without the strictness of the diet telling me what to eat. Then I have enough for two short or one long round, so will see what I need at that time. I know this is a long way off, but I need to allow myself to not have to hit perfection right now. This is a process that is going to take time.
On a high note, I am so excited! Auto is coming to visit again this round! And this time the whole fam is coming! Can't wait to see her and the amazing progress she has made. Plus, last round it was so encouraging to be together midway through and allowed us to finish strong. And now she is going to be in Vegas-so much closer and in a better timezone for chatting! And, I have never been to Vegas, so it would be great to go for a quick celebration trip when we are both at goal.
I don't know how people do this without an accountability partner and huge support from their spouse/significant other. I have not told anyone else what I am doing, don't want to deal with the ranting and accusing that seem to come with telling uneducated people. So, only my bff and hubby know, and if it was not for them, I would have caved! But, still going strong!
Today will be a good day. Yoga, stretching and lots of water and tea. The weather is cold and windy (are we EVER going to have a summer?!?!...I know, don't complain, we are the 2% of the nation that is not broiling!), so today is a great day to snuggle in bed and read a good book. But for now, the baby is up and hollering for me-duty, or doodie calls! Have a great day!