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Feeling down - One week into HCG

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I am not one to "blog" these kinds of things but I'm feeling down and desperate. I started my HCG injections last Thursday night at the naturopath's office. I was 131 pounds and expecting my time of month in the next couple of days (I was bloated). Anyway, I hate my regular normal food all of Friday and Saturday and started on P2 diet Sunday. Egg whites, veggies, extra lean ground beef, melba toast, that whole thing. I was doing well and I weighed myself yesterday at 124.4. I don't know if that was actual progress because I usually lose that much weight anyway after my time of the month (which ended on Tuesday)...but I was excited and happy. Yesterday, I was soooo bored and I completely gave in and ate a whole CUP of mixed salted nuts. One. Whole.Cup. That is a loooottt of calories. Then I ate six mangoes. So gross. But the mangoes were heavenly. The last couple of days without added sugar was just sheer torture for me and every fruit I ate tasted better than chocolate cake and those mangoes were just...amazing...I couldn't stop (evidently!). Then this morning I came in to the office to find chocolate cupcakes with green icing (st. patricks day!) and I had a cupcake for bfast. Then a little monster inside of me was unleashed and I binged. I ate my protocol lunch then another cupcake, then a donut (it's Friday so my coworkers bring in treats), then three chocolate cookies, then chips and salsa, a kiwi and some blueberries...I'm full on binging like I have had years ago in the past whenever I felt down and out.

I'm feeling so upset with myself. About the binging, and just everything in general. I'm worried because years ago, before I got into exercise and health, I used to binge. And feel so disgusting, then I hated how I looked because of it. Then I got over it. I started working out every day, and making better relationships and feeling so much better and more confident. I am relatively happy with the way I look, but I was greedy and wanted to lose a little bit of fat that EVERY person has. I'm worried that HCG will have me binging again. I haven't in years and yesterday and today was BAD. Now I'm worried i'll end up with more weight then I had started off with. Or worse, ruining my metabolism or screwing something up in my body.

I'm going to keep up this diet and right now I'm trying to calm down and start fresh...but the weekend is coming up and I'm praying to God, I can keep up with this diet. Two more weeks to go. I won't weigh myself this weekend and wait two or three days because I'm so nervous.

Oh and I can't seem to give up exercise even tho the doc insists on it. Two more weeks of non-exercise sounds like a nightmare.

What have I done!!!!!!!!

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Comments

  1. julie.b1967's Avatar
    Are you still hanging in there? How bad did the cheats affect you? I know how hard it is. It is a very emotionally impacting diet. I hope you hung in there and are back on track!