JoNichelle

So as some may know from my previous post Tom is currently visiting me. And since I cant have reeses or heath bars, prepare for my rant..lol:

Like some others on this site I have been keeping this diet to myself with few exceptions (i.e. mom ). Yesterday I was on the phone talking to one of my besties and I was so exited about my weight loss so far I had to tell her. The response was not what I wanted. Instead of - thats so awesome - I got a talking to about how I wasn't even big. How come skinny people are always trying to do these extreme diets for just a couple of pounds. You don't even need to lose weight. etc....

Now, It can be deduced that my friend is farther up on the curvy scale than I am. Honestly I wanted her to do this diet with me, which is the main reason I brought it up. But her words got me to thinking and I realized a few things.
1. Sometimes I feel bad posting on the forums or responding to some people because I feel like a fraud. I have less than 25 to lose and after seeing so many amazing stories I feel like I don't deserve this easy miracle.
2. I find myself looking at other profiles and sometimes think to myself - why the hell are they doing another round, they are so tiny, thats crazy.
3. Sometimes I see others weight loss tickers and deep down, in my secret evil parts, Feel a smug satisfation if my average is higher and resentment if it is lower.

Why would I do that? What is wrong with me. Even if it is not expressed somewhere inside me is a small little person who thinks they do not deserve to be on this diet and at the same time resents others who are also dieting. Isn't that just like my friend was to me? After a little soul searching - I in my infinite, bloggy, controller of this keyboard, skewed wisdom have come to the following realizations: (man this is getting filibuster long, eh?)
1. Women can be evil. Not only to others but 10 times more to ourselves. I think behind every witchy thought is a gal who is unhappy with the same thing in herself.
2. Women can be crazy. Ok, so men have been thinking that one for years but lets think about it. How many of us have seen those girls on TV or magazines and said to our partner/friend/person in line behind us - she need to eat a cheeseburger (or something to that affect). Yet inside we are saying something like "man I wish I could wear that bathing suit and look that good". If hating on what we want to be isn't loco, I don't know what is.
3. Women, besides previous statements, can be the most supportive buddies, and awesome cheerleaders ever. It's one thing if your man says you look good - he kinda has to..lol. Its another thing if you get hit on...cause we all know what the guys want. But when a female tells you you look great, or she loves that outfit, It can make our whole day - heck sometimes our whole week. Maybe this is why it hits so hard when a girlfriend doesn't support you. hmmm

And the final thing, which brings me back to the title is....Fat is fat. Whether it is 10 pounds to 300, anything that makes us uncomfortable in our own bodies is bad fat. We should not put more weight on others opinions about our bodies than how we feel. We should not then turnaround and hold others to those same standards that we resent ourselves. We should encourage and cheer, not judge. And we should never hold ourselves superior to anyone. And if I want to take shots to lose 20 pounds than I freakin will, and not be ashamed about doing it. So there

(Disclaimer: Please note that the following rant was brought to you by a woman on her period - a crazy woman. While the story is brought on by actual events none of these events reflect the views or actions of any of the Freakin Awesome people on this site. She will be better in a couple of days.....that is all)