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kaedynn23

A little bit more about me (strong language)

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So in one month I will be 26 years old and have been battling my weight since I was ten years old. I had lived in OK, and had been a very active child. My mother was a single mom of 4, going to medical school during the day and teaching night school. Needless to say she has zero time (and knowledge) to cook healthy dinners. So I made my own breakfast, school food, and then we went out to dinner every night. Since I was such an active child it didn't matter, I was at full speed from the moment school let out to bed time. That kept my weight at a normal place despite my nutrition. Then, my mother remarried and we picked up and moved to Texas where I live now. I had no friends and no where to really run around safely. Plus my new step-father bought me my first own video game system. There was more at home cooking, but it was high in fat, sugar and carbs. Needless to say I gained probably about 50lbs my first six months in texas and the weight gain never stopped. By my freshman year of high school I weighed 215#'s. By graduation I was 230, but I kept my weight there for the next six years, then after a few drinking binges, continued fast food eating habbits, and depression I reached my highest weight at 284 pounds at 5'6".

My family is what I like to call the "Barbie Genuises". I am the youngest of four. The oldest, and only boy, looks remarkably like a Ken doll. He is a surgen in here in Texas and he is very handsome and chilsed. His wife, a personal trainer, looks like malibu barbie. The next is the oldest sister I have, who has a Masters in analytical chemistry, and our face are nearly identical, but she is 5'2 and her "high" weight is 130 ( not including her pregnancy's). Then there is the middle girl, Master's in family counseling, 5'4" and high weight is 135.
My mother had so many degree's I won't even list them because it just makes everyone feel inadaquate, but she has been battleing her weight after two years of living in Texas, but I am still much larger then her. Did I mention she modeled in the 70's?

Then you have me. I am 5'6", I now weigh 260#'s (thank you HCG). High in sarcasim, creativeness, and a wild side that is also very genetic.

It's always been hard for me not to lie to myself about my weight. I have a lot of friends, I love making people laugh, and I was very succesfull at having a long string of *******s on speed dial willing to make me feel beautiful. Because screw the bull I am BEAUTIFUL. But to say that I was happy with my weight is like an addict saying that they can put it down at any moment. It was a lie.

My dad likes to pop into the picture I call my life, and remind me that I need to start losing weight. It literally bothers him on a dailey basis that I am overweight. He called me beautiful for the first time since I was a little girl a year in a half ago, and it was after I yelled at him for thinking I don't date and have friends blah, blah, blah. I know he wants me to be healthy, but I want him to not be an ***. Guess who's winning?

I've tried lot's of ****ed up diets in my life, but I never really stick with. I have a severe problem with fast food. No female in my family can actually cook. Oh, we try, but the ccok book is mighty thin, so I never really learned to cook. All of my attempts to cook anything besdies steak and spagetti usually ended in a fire. Always the adventure.

My best friend and her fiance moved in with me two months ago. She doesn't cook. (Notice the doesn't instead of the can't) So the man of the house cooks almost all of the meals. And he is freaking good at it. I went over with him what I wanted to learn and I spent three weeks doing non-stop research into the HCG diet so the whole house knew about the changes I was about to make. He taught me how to cook a bit and I have flourished from there. They really have been extremely supportive.

This is what I have learned over the past 32 days. I am awesome. I finally have found the control in my life that I have always wanted, and an ex try to use his words to hurt me last night, boy did he got a shocking response. After 15 min of listening to him tell me horrendous usually hurtful things I got to say this to him: **** you, I'm awesome, you are a loser, and I don't need people like you in my life." Click.

This is the new no bull**** me. My life, my body, my choice. And I choose me!!! So everyone who tries to tell me this diet is insane or blah blah blah, nag nag nag can just suck it because I feel great and I'm not stopping here!!!

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Comments

  1. NursesRock_RN's Avatar
    I love you!!!
    Good for you girl. And thanks for the good read you have an interesting Fat Story. Mine is pretty boring and it involves brownies! Lol
    Good luck Chica
  2. Heidihcg's Avatar
    Lol nice rant honey, you are beautiful and you can do this, just keep going and don't give up. When you have a bad day, cause you will, trust me I'm having my days where I just want trail mix and a doughnut lol, but I remind myself I got something to prove to my self, that I can lose the weight again cause I did it before, diet and exercise, and years later I went from 210 to 115 I'm 5feet 4" so I was skinny and ripped. I'm gonna do this and that's final
  3. FlaSaphire's Avatar
    You go girl! I kinda know where you're coming from i've always been the short stubby one in a long line of tall, dark, and lean, lol. Anyway... you have a great attitute, stick to it and you'll get where you want to be.
  4. LisaAPB's Avatar
    You're right, you ARE AWESOME!