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Round 4 VLCD 11: Brief Update, A lot of Rambling

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Today is very low calorie day 11 of Round 4. I am doing well. I have lost 20 pounds in 11 days, and yes, that does include my loading gains. My LIW was 167, so I will be in new territory soon. I am happy with my progress, and I am content with where I am. I am hoping to get in the low 150s or high 140s before rotating into Phase 3. (I would like to stabilize at 155ish.) I have 32 days left in my round, so I do not think this is outside the realm of possibility.

I am noticing more and more that I am loosing my physical ‘fat cushion.’ I have mentioned in previous blogs that I used my fat to insulate me from others. I know that is absolutely true. And, now that I do not have that insulation, I am figuring out new coping skills when dealing with folks. But, one of the things that is new is my body’s external fat layer, or cushion, is going away. So when I bump something, I really feel it!!

For instance, I bumped the back of my hand on something and busted a blood vessel. That hurt!! I have bumped my wrist and ended up rubbing it half the day because it bugged me. My elbows are getting sensitive…My elbows complain when I rest them on the arms of my office chair. My wrist complains when I use my mouse which sets directly on my desk edge. (I am going to have to go get a mouse pad!) My feet complain when I walk barefoot on hard floors. My tailbone hurts all the time when I sit with the exception of two chairs: my office chair and my recliner. Everything makes it hurt. Before, 130 pounds ago, I never noticed these things.

Even though I am physically more sensitive to sensation and touch, I think (hope) I am getting stronger emotionally. I am trying to learn new coping mechanisms to deal with cattiness or backhanded compliments from co-workers and acquaintances. And, I am trying to directly address friends and family who unintentionally (or not) verbally degrade me. I am trying to set some new boundaries for interacting with everyone. Well, I mean, I am trying to nicely let others know about the new boundaries of interacting with me. Boundaries are good. When I was 296 pounds, I DID NOT APPRECIATE anyone making ANY comment about my weight. Well, now that I have lost weight, I really still do not appreciate people making comments about my weight.

That being said, some people know how to give an appropriate compliment, and some do not. I have had a few say, “WOW, you have lost weight. You look great…” or something like that. Comments like this make me feel good. They are compliments. They are thoughtful and kind. However, I have had others say, “WOW how much weight have you lost???”…or something like this. The different is subtle, but my offense is not. Then there is the OH-SO-OFFENSIVE, “Just how much did you weigh / do you weigh…? My mind translates this type of comment into, “Good grief, you were such a slough!!! How could you let yourself get to that point?...”

Yep. I want to punch them in the throat. I am working on this. :-P

Then there is the gossip. Weight loss is such a personal thing. But, when you loose weight or gain weight, others think they have the right to make comments or talk about it. One of the tipping points to my decision to complete Round 4 was gossip about my weight loss. I was told that ‘others’ at my work were talking about how I would gain all my weight back after stopping the shots. I was immediately mad. Their gossip showed their ignorance. I have not been on shots since December 1st, 2012. I have maintained my losses within a few pounds since that time. (I gained A LOT after making my decision to complete Round 4…went wild with my eating…got lazy… OH WELL.) But, THANK YOU GOSSIP MONGERS!!! That was the shove I needed to make the decision to do Round 4 and to get to my GOAL WEIGHT.

So, now I am several days into Round 4, and I am waiting on the gossip that I am getting TOO THIN…..at which time I will tell who ever tells me that it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and that I would appreciate if they did not talk about my personal life like it was a topic on the national news. Then after saying my rehearsed retort, I will give a syrupy-sweet smile and walk away.

Yep, I think this will work. Or it will stir the gossip more. Either way, they talkers will know that they have crossed a boundary.

But, how do you deal with family and loved ones who attack? Well, attack is a very strong word. Where my weight loss and diet are concerned, my family members will fall into three categories: Cautiously Supportive, Uncertain, and Un-Supportive.

My husband, mother, sister, and my nieces are all cautiously supportive. They SEE I am healthier than I have ever been. All of them have struggled with their own weight issues at one point or another in their lives. They all (for the most part) have the ability to listen and learn about the HCG Protocol before passing judgment. They are cautious (as they should be…hormones, shots, 500 calories, etc.), but they have all listened to the logic of the protocol and are supportive anyway.

There are several family members who would fall in the Uncertain category. They do not know what to make of the protocol. And, for the most part, they do not comment but just watch, wait, and see.

Then there is my daddy. My daddy is Unsupportive toward my weight loss. (He would probably be mad or irritated to hear me say that about him even though it is true.) My dad thinks I am going to fall over dead from starvation. (Ignorance.) And, even when he sees me eat ‘normal,’ he CANNOT STOP commenting about my weight / weight loss. Knowing his personality, the only thing that will make this quit is a well-timed snap. His negative comments have been going on for months, and months, and months…since I weighed 220ish pounds… I have talked to him about it. I have asked him to support me. I have reasoned with him. I have explained the protocol. I have given him a copy of Pounds & Inches. I have told him his comments are offensive…

He still persists in telling me that I am poorly and too thin. So, I am going to avoid seeing him until I am through with this round. And, when he says something negative, I am going to bite his head off and make a fast exit.

…Or maybe I will but his head off, put the claws out, and get ready to scrap.

…Or maybe I will grit my teeth to the point of cracking, fume and gripe in my head, suffer through the time with him, go home pissed off, and kick the dog.

So many options. So many consequences attached to each.

This was long and really had no direction. Just today’s thoughts. Thank you for reading, and have a great day!

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  1. Rabo's Avatar
    I only have time for a quick and sincere comment: You. Are. Beautiful.
  2. katerinavsharp's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Rabo
    I only have time for a quick and sincere comment: You. Are. Beautiful.
  3. Miche's Avatar
    As if the diet and the baggage isn't hard enough, then you have the insensitive people. Oh well, the world is full of them but I am here to tell you as many of there are of them, there are more of us excited and cyberly (I realize this is not a word) supporting you and sending love, strength, and positive vibes your way.....
    Keep your head high and keep on keeping on!
  4. pookster's Avatar
    Hey kat...we have similar goals! How tall are you? I am thinking anywhere between 155-159 will be great for me....Sometimes you got to have tunnel vision because there are 2 things I have found people always have an opinion about... weight and pregnancy! Yay the two things I have done in the last year.. lucky me! They can all kick rocks because I am doing what I wanna do when I wanna do it
  5. katerinavsharp's Avatar
    I am 5'7" tall and very big boned. I found out from my sister this morning that our mother's side of the family is Scandinavian...quite possibly Viking. Or at least that is my story, and I am sticking to it.
  6. pookster's Avatar
    [email protected] Viking ..that's probably true you know. I would dig into my gene tree but with my luck I would come up with " Holstein" haha!