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makana

  1. R4P2 Vlcd1-Here we go...again

    Yes, again. But I am going to focus on the positive today and say, I made it through day 1.
    So, I have had an easy day-spent most of it sleeping. Worn out from life and the past few weeks, then was out too late last night. So I rested and slept a ton. Had some hunger most of the day, but I don't think much of that was true caloric need in my body. I think most of it was mental and habit, and I know this will fade as the days go on. I am thinking about everything, making a choice every ...
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  2. R2P2 Vlcd40-Perception

    This has been the toughest week of this whole 4 month journey. The guilt, stress, emotions and exhaustion have taken over my life...no, I am not a victim-I have given up control again. I have made the job, house, kids and everything else the priority and moved myself to the bottom of the list again. I have cheated everyday this week, which, as we all know, has increased the downward spiral.
    Trying to find a balance in my life has been a huge challenge. The marriage issues have added so ...
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  3. R2P2 Vlcd34-Tomorrow is another day...

    Today just needs to end so I can start fresh tomorrow. After 4 months of following the entire protocol exactly, I finally broke and cheated tonight. Don't know what sent me over the edge or made the right choice so hard to find. I know that I made the decision and put the food in my mouth. I am not blaming anyone or anything else. I take full responsibility. But WTH?!!!?!?!?!
    What is going on that is so different? Why now when I have been so strong for so long? I know that I only ...
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  4. R2P2 Vlcd31-Survived the week

    Well, I have made it to the weekend. Managed to make it through a second week of full time work. Only had to make the long drive for three days, then two in my regular position. I love it! Was so totally, completely freaked out yesterday, but then, of course, it was worse in my head than in reality. The people are amazingly wonderful and I like what i am doing.
    Missing my family and feeling the squeeze at home, but holding things together. Trying to stay super organized and look ahead ...
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  5. R2P2 Vlcd27-Catching Up

    Well, it has been about 10 days since I last checked in. Things have been a madhouse around here. I was hired last Friday and started training on Monday! And they all say the economy is bad...ha! So that was a huge transition, made at light speed, for myself and the fam. To go from being home full time (for nearly 9 years) to a full time position, plus the commute for training, wow, what a week.
    The stress has been off the charts, I have a test tomorrow that I have to pass to keep ...
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  6. R2P2 Vlcd17-Major Changes

    Well, today's loss was pretty good for being this far into a round, .6 of a pound. I am happy with that. Major stress and changes in life for me right now which might have hindered the loss. Tuesday night I got a call about a job interview, they wanted to see me asap, so I went in yesterday and had a 2 hour interview with the manager and assistant! Went great, they really like me and want to hire me. So today I had a phone interview with the HR manager-was great because it saved me an hour ...
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  7. R2P2 Vlcd15-Finally, some progress!

    Have been feeling REALLY down about my progress the past few days. Things have not been great emotionally and the stress and loneliness have really been getting to me. My attitude has been "what's the point?!?" I keep working so hard and making all these sacrifices and don't see hardly any progress, nor do I have any support. So, feeling sorry for myself.
    That ends today! I woke up to a 1.4 pound loss this morning-on day 15! Wow!!!! Thrilled with that, about time. It took ...
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  8. R2P2 Vlcd12-No reason for this!

    So today has not been a good day. I am feeling really off...irritated and cranky and upset. And there really is no reason. I apologize in advance for the whining and complaining. This really is more to get out my thoughts and emotions, try to figure out what is going on. Because if I don't deal with it, I am headed to the kitchen and there is no telling the damage I will do!
    Had a small loss this morning, nothing to get excited about, but it was a loss. Then I grabbed a jacket as I ...
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  9. R2P2 Vlcd10-Good Morning

    So, I normally blog at night, and recap the day...but I have been so tired the past few days that I have no brain energy left to do that. But I want to catch up on where I am and what I am thinking. Feel like I have hit some major emotional and mental moments lately.
    As of this morning, I am 182.0, only a .2 loss for today, but I know why-had milk in my tea, worked out hard and not enough water. So, will stretch a lot today, drink lots of water and see what tomorrow brings. Overall, I ...
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  10. R2P2 Vlcd7-Weekend Update

    So, we were out on the island for the weekend and it went well. No major issues, took all my food. Can't believe how much junk food was there! The only veggies in the entire house were some tomatoes to put on the burgers! Chips, crackers, cookies, cupcakes, bacon, waffles...you get the idea. But, I did not cheat!! And my Dad, who never notices things, let alone comments, actually noticed how much I have lost and said that I look different! Wow, that was a shocker!
    So sad to see my ...
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