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makana

R2P2 Vlcd12-No reason for this!

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So today has not been a good day. I am feeling really off...irritated and cranky and upset. And there really is no reason. I apologize in advance for the whining and complaining. This really is more to get out my thoughts and emotions, try to figure out what is going on. Because if I don't deal with it, I am headed to the kitchen and there is no telling the damage I will do!
Had a small loss this morning, nothing to get excited about, but it was a loss. Then I grabbed a jacket as I was leaving the house (yes, I know, a coat-we are in the NW and it is not even warm here), and it was way too big. This was great and should have made my day, but there was no emotion there at all.
I am still spotting, so maybe hormone issues that I am not used to. The job search and lack of response have really been a big drain on me. I have applied to 15-20 jobs in the last few weeks and have had zero response. Feeling like a complete failure. Hubby started training for a new job(second job) today because I have not found anything. Feel like I really let him down, like he is having to pick up the slack for me. Finances are getting tight and with there being no hope on the horizon, I am starting to stress.
So, while I was home alone this afternoon, I decided to finish going through my closet. I ended up getting rid of 4 coats and two large rubbermaid totes full of clothes that were too big! About 1/3 of my closet. And then I went through the last tote that had clothes that were too small (I started with 5 totes in April), it is nearly empty! I can really see a difference in how things are fitting. Can't believe some of the things that are huge on me now, that were tight just last month. Again, you would think this would make me over the moon happy, but nothing.
My bff started driving west today. Their cross country move is underway. I will see her and the family in a week. This is the friend who is doing hcg with me. Being together is the best support! Can't wait to see them.
Feel like all of these huge changes-physically and emotionally are being met with no support from within my home. Hubby is not really taking an interest in my job search-has no idea what is going on, my weight loss-asks once in awhile about progress, or generally how I am doing-feel like we are just room mates right now. No communication at all! Think this is the biggest challenge for me.
Just want to shut down. Maybe too tired and stressed. Tomorrow will look better. Will have to concentrate on the positive tomorrow and post all of that.

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Comments

  1. scientistmac's Avatar
    I swear this hcg messes with out emotions (and bodies!) I too spot all the time. And the last couple of days I have been so irritable for no reason. We can't let it get th best of though. You have to try your hardest to get through days like this because it's sure to be better tomorrow.

    And congrats on the losses, fitting into smaller clothes is an achievment all on it's own and shouldn't be downplayed! It's an amazing feeling
  2. wwkiks's Avatar
    Makana, Sounds like life is extremely stressful right now. But I must say in all this adversity, you are holding on strong. It's okay to have an emotional day. Don't be so hard on yourself. I just would like to say.... no matter what is going on in your life, YOU are sticking to this and doing an amazing job! Amazing amount of weight loss, that is so awesome. I do believe your BFF being close to you will help. Girl time is priceless. I look forward to being where you are. Our starting weights are about the same, this is my first week and I have lost 9.2lbs but look forward to 50+lbs being gone! How long did that take you? Keep your chin up! Blessings and Smiles!