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  1. What comes next

    'Every time I resist eating something not on protocol, I am strengthening my ability to resist in the future. The goal is to strengthen the ability to resist rather than strengthen the tendency to give in.' -JBeanie

    So I dont think I could have said this better. At this time in the VLCD, I think I have the strength balanced in my favor. Its amazing how fast the last 33 days flew and not cheating a single moment really makes me feel proud of myself. I'm a lucky girl right now. In P3, ...
  2. The Weekly Deets

    R1 W1: 224.2 to 211 lbs! -12.3 lbs
    R1 W2: 210.3 TO 206.8 lbs -3.5 lbs

    Day 17 VCLD 15.........???
    Day 18 VLCD 16.........205.5 (-1.3)
    Day 19 VLCD 17.........204.8 (-0.7)
    Day 20 VLCD 18........204.4 (-0.4)
    Day 21 VLCD 19.........204.4 (-0.0)
    Day 22 VLCD 20.........202.4 (-2.0)

    Lost 4.9 This Week

    Isn't it funny how important food is? Last night I thought my heart was going to stop. It had been a stressful ...
    Tags: bulimia, recovery
  3. this blog went somewhere scary

    So after last nights egg white mountain and a gallon of water, I finally had a decent overnight loss. I mean, I can't stand water and the fact that I have to slug down almost a gallon a day kills me although not drinking enough is definately what is attributing to my "slow" weight loss. (sidenote:Man, I can't stand these hens in my office. I can't believe even old *****es are clicky as hell. Whatever, one of them is my ex's mom and honestly I dont give a flying pig **** if I ever have ...
    Tags: bulimia
  4. The Weekley Deets 2

    Day 10 VLCD 8..........210.3 (-1.6)
    Day 11 VLCD 9..........209.2 (-1.1)
    Day 12 VLCD 10........208.3 (-0.9) TOM Day 1
    Day 13 VLCD 11........207.5 (-0.8) TOM Day 2
    Day 14 VLCD 12........206.6 (-0.9) TOM Day 3
    Day 15 VLCD 13........207.2 (+0.6) TOM Day 4
    Day 16 VLCD 14........206.8 (-0.4) TOM Day 5
    3.5 ls lost this week. hmmm?

    So I thought this this week was pretty painless. I also started to regard Dr. Simeons protocol more ...
  5. Recovery started when I started this and there is no turning back.

    Today for some reason I just felt like falling into my old habbits. I wanted to bad to snack that I actually found myself munching on spring mix as if they were potato chips..oh how I wish. Part of me is scared that I will never be able to really enjoy food that I love or bake without indulging myself in a piece. I guess I am still trying to find that balance. I know that my new eating protocol is very restricted and its really difficult, I dont dare watch the food network anymore and even change ...
  6. The weekly deets!

    Day 1: Loading day 1 222.0
    Day 2: Loading day 2 224.2
    Day 3: VLCD 1 222.1 (-2.1)
    Day 4: VLCD 2 220.7 (-1.4)
    Day 5: VLVD 3 216.3 (-4.4) Yeah, this is cool.
    Day 6: VLCD 4 214.3 (-2.0)
    Day 7: VLCD 5 213.0 (-1.3)
    Day 9: VLCD 7 211.9 (-1.1)
    12.3 lbs lost in 8 days

    Okay, so this is doing pretty ...
  7. This is a mind game and I will win

    You know I am relly exited about these forums because just when you think you are going to go shove some General Tso's down my throat (and back up again), I read beautiful, funny, inspiring message from women who I would like to be more like.
    Today wasn't hasn't been too difficult except for this morning when I was struck with greif thinking about me ex boyfriend. I wanted so bad to eat the danishes that they have here at work but I didn't do it. I did pray to God right before I started ...
  8. Catching up

    I've seen so many people sdo so well with a journal blog, I think its a good thing that I do the same. I seem to be doing pretty well and am trying to remember that any loss is a victory and I shouldn't be concerned wiht the idea that I am "supposed" to be losing at a higher rate. I also am going t try my hardest to not use the word "should" because my doctor says that I may be setting myself up to feel like a failure. I should do this, I should do that...its not a healthy way ...