Undersize Me... My Hcg Journey

VLCD 20/P3D1
Weigh-in: 123.5

Good to see that the pool party did very little damage. Wisely, I offered to bring a salad (Chicken Caesar) and augmented my plate w/ a bun-less veggie burger. Well, I also chose a margarita and a glass of Spanish wine, and ice cream later on, so it wasn't all goodie-two-shoes eating... gossiped with a good friend while swimming with the kids, helped set up/clean up, kept busy and didn't hang out too much near the food tables. My husband told me he liked my new bathing suit, that we should bring it somewhere warm in the winter... had a nice time -- way better than I expected!

This morning I had a cup of Yerba Mate Chai tea w/ Truvia, a Finn Crisp w/ 1 tsp of fresh ground peanut butter and a handful of grapes. Satisfied. Ignored the leftover cake from my daughters' sleepover. Ignored the treacherous smells wafting from the neighborhood bakery on my run this morning. Feel good. I'm determined *not* to feel deprived; rather, I'm trying to look at this journey as a way to get somewhere I want to be. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else that my motivation is a pair of jeans I want to wear (and can't right now). The jeans are most certainly emblematic of an ability to dress without exceptions: "oh, that skirt will fit if I lose 5 lbs; oh, that shirt pulls at the buttons... maybe in a few more lbs", etc. Ease. Liking my body and myself better. I also think that when we get a new body (change a size or change many sizes), it's like we can reinvent ourselves. Wearing certain clothes can make me feel like I can have a different identity. For instance, I'm less hesitant to wear certain styles of vintage/retro-inspired clothing if I'm a size smaller. And when I can wear them, I'm expressing something different; I'm not schleppy suburban mom, I'm cool arsty mom.

Also, I always treat myself to a new coiffure when I can venture into those smaller sizes. It seems a more fitting reward than frozen yogurt!

I'm already looking for a new colorist; won't be long now...