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Ready to get back to my old self.

Jealousy & Relationships

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Everyone is happy for my weight loss and very supportive. I keep a very close net of true friends and I can say true friends because they've been with me through everything, and they've never screwed me over with talking behind my back and being sneaky. I love them.

I'm blessed to have such amazing friends. We've never fought ever. They're very happy for me that I'm actually eating to lose instead of not eating at all. That goes for my family too. My aunt is inspired by me and has been even getting more active. I haven't gotten the usual snarkiness and frowned upon attitude that some people get on the boards from either friends or family.

What I am getting is the jealousy and attitude from my girlfriend. The last person I would expect it from. We were supposed to go on this diet together, and she started off strong and sort of fell off with going out with friends to eat, and drinking and party. First she says she's too lazy to cook anything healthy. I've been giving her countless P2 recipes and still "I'm too lazy to do that." even for the most uncomplicated things.

It's like huh? Stop being like that. You want to lose weight you have to be willing to prepare a balanced healthy meal yourself. Protein, veg and fruit, that's it. Like you aren't even exercising it's just a diet. The only work is eating.

I got "well I don't want you to be too skinny. I don't like girls that are too skinny."

O rly? When your ex is thin? And how you happily worshipped my skinny photos and thought my body was amazing?

I had to explain that yes I would be a normal BMI nowhere near underweight. My perfect weight for me is between 125-130lbs. I'm 5'4'' and a half. I've been 120lbs before. THAT was too skinny for me. She's acting like I'll get to 110 lbs. I want to be able to fit into my size 7 and 8s (I have a booty XD ) NOT a 0.

I told her my goal and got in return: "Well, that's how it starts, but then you'll go lower and lower."

I'm sorry what? Thank you for the motivation honey, great.

Then after I switched into defensive mode she explains that she's jealous and scared I'll run away with someone skinnier than her. She's not even what most people would call "fat". A few pounds extra yes. But she's curvy and everything is proportionate and I love her body. She's beautiful. So I had to reassure her of this. I thought it was fine.

Yesterday I told her to give me just a second I was posting on this blog (which was short as hell), and she goes. "I feel like your diet is more important than me." Like not even joking about it.

What. the. ****. How does taking 5 minutes to post a few words equal to more important than you? Needless to say I was severely irritated at that. But I bit my tongue and calmly asked her how she concluded all this. She realized it was a insanely trivial reason to get upset over and apologized to me and I left it alone.

Fast forward to today. I made her look at pictures of the skirt I wanted to get for my halloween costume. Everyone knows I haven't celebrated in years (like go out with friends in an actual costume) and I'm extremely excited about it. She didn't look too pleased about it and just told me "cool" completely uninterested then told me that she had to go study. Then got mad at me when I asked one of my really good friends to help me match a good outfit.

So I explained that I was tired of her little remarks, she told me she would stop and that I could continue to talk about either subject and she would be happy for me. Thing is that I no longer want to talk about my diet or how good I'm doing or anything to do with halloween anymore. Like after all everything and all the little fights about it. I'm completely over it. Like emotionally drained.

She's proven time and time again that it bothers her to see me doing well which honestly, hurts like hell. I'm dieting the healthy right way and not sticking a finger down my throat and washing it away. But she doesn't seem like she wants to be happy for me and it sucks so much. Next month it'll be a year since we've been together. But lately its been nothing but stress on our relationship with these little fights and jealousy over me losing weight.

I'm trying not to let it bother me but damn. Between this and moving, death in the family, and feeling my mothers stress...

Just, ugh... -_________________________________________________-

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Comments

  1. Newjulie's Avatar
    So sorry you have to deal with this. But you sound like a really strong woman. Just do this for you! DO NOT LET ANYONE DERAIL YOU!!! it is too important. I wish I had HCG when I was younger and didnt live a life of yo you dieting --- trying to find the answers on my own.

    You already know and she has admitted that she is feeling threatened. You cannot do anything about that except to reassure her, which you are. This is about her insecurity --- she will have to find her way.

    I cant wait to celebrate with you when you reach your goal! Congratulations on your success so far.
  2. MurderouSunset's Avatar
    I agree completely. This diet is very important to me and learning how to eat right in the process is keeping me on the straight and narrow. Her insecurities can be really difficult to deal with. But I made her talk and vent and now she's going to put in the effort to stop feeling so threatened and be my cheerleader instead of the opposing team. lol!

    I've learned that communication works a bit better than getting so frustrated that I start imagining I'm ripping her head off and watching the blood spurt out. xD


    Thank you for your awesome and wise words of encouragement. I greatly appreciate them And congrats on your amazing losses as well n__n