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nshuman

Should I just give up?????

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This was the most horrible weekend between work, the family,the HHcg, and just my issues, I am an emotional wreck screwed up on friday saturday and today and did nothing but cry about it as if It was out of my control , when it was ALL me MY FAULT if emotionally screwed up is HCG something I should continue to try or just accept that Im over weight and try and live with it , went back to Chain smoking was always a smoker now it seems like im a smoker times ten. I have no clue how to fix what I have done I had extra protien , not enough water a taste of cheese, no BM'S, 5 fries ......and not to mention up 1.4 from yesterday "cry baby" now I feel like im at the point of no return....................I need help and lots of it. This was sapposed to be a short cycle but I think this weekend may have turned it into a long one ... when someone cheats do they contine or just wait three days and start over I have NO clue what to do ....... Some one ANYONE I think I need someone to tell me what to do ....ANY input would be great !!!!

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  1. Beth_M's Avatar
    Never give up! You took a huge step toward better health in making the decision to go on this diet. You planned, you have been doing well. It's a rare person that doesn't slip here and there. Identify what happened, work to correct it so it can't happen again, keep taking your hcg, keep on the vlcd, expect the scale to complain for a few days, and get right back at it.

    Never ever settle and never 'just accept that you're overweight and try and live with it'. Ever..

    No one said this diet is easy. The benefits far outweigh anything that comes up. It is fast, it works, but you have to commit to make it work.
  2. nshuman's Avatar
    Beth Thank you for the kind words of encouragement ....I just feel soo disappointed in myself I am sad and heartbroken at the fact that I let personal issues sabatoge my success just when I think I have had enough beating myself up , I do it all over again. Not only do I feel like I let myself down but I feel like I am bein judged all the time , Im begining to think I dont have what it takes ....I thought I wanted to complete it not compete in it , but it gets hard when I am being reminded of everyone elses journey......I always felt outa place especially when ppl point out u gota pretty face why did you let yourself go, or you should be thin all that running around you do. But I dont wany to be thin ,I just dont want to be fat I want a healthy weight ... im sorry I am starting to ramble.... thnk you again Beth I appriciate it !!!!!
  3. Beth_M's Avatar
    No one here is going to judge you. We are here for support.. from beginning to end (if there is ever an end). We are sounding boards and shoulders in a virtual sense.

    Getting down on yourself becomes a vicious cycle. The initial cheat happens, you get upset about it..disappointed, mad, etc.. the negative self talk leads to another cheat. Try to focus on the positive.. the days you've done well so far and how good that felt.

    Btw.. I'm someone who spent all but the last 4 years of my adult life between 275 and 350 lbs. I would have never dreamed ...ever.. that I could be soooo close to a 'normal' bmi.. and I am close.. less than 10 lbs. I'm not going to make it this round.. but I'm good with that. This round has been slower for me, partially because I cheated at Thanksgiving..not a huge cheat.. just a bit more food and not protocol. Well you know what.. it was then that much easier to cheat, just a little, the next day... then it was the next. I finally pulled up my big girl panties and told myself enough was enough.. I was only hurting myself. With renewed determination I told myself what was originally a 40 day round to end on Dec 10th.. was going right up until the last possible moment before Xmas. And.. I'm almost at the end of that. I've been dealing with 15 days of slow losses, no losses and even gains.. losing the same 2 lbs countless times. I finally managed to get past that late last week... Did it make me want to throw in the towel? Hell yeah! Did I? Hell no. I don't want to spend time second guessing "what if I had just stuck it out..."

    The hardest part of the journey is the first step.
  4. angelinabliss's Avatar
    Don't be disappointed in yourself! You have been so brave to make the decision to change your life!! I know how hard this is and the self-judgment. We are certainly our own worst enemy! I was extremely overweight since having my son 23 years ago. I was always very ashamed to be the 'fat mom'. A trip to the zoo was a nightmare - my knees would hurt and I would get winded. When I made the decision to change, it was little steps and working on it every day. Some days the little step was forgiving myself for cheating or not doing well on the diet. Let go of your judgment and be good to yourself. We put the weight on for a reason - mine served a purpose - protection and soothing because I had an abusive husband. Now our yearning for fitness is our new purpose. You can do it. You have reached out for support and that is so smart! I ended up losing 100 lbs and becoming a yoga teacher. Now, having gone through several hard life situations I find that I have once again turned to food to soothe and now need to lose 30 lbs. This diet and experience is teaching me to forgive forgive forgive. I put the weight on and I can take it off AND I can figure out WHY I put it on again. Set a goal to be kind to yourself each day. Come up with a mantra like "I am a strong beautiful woman" and say it everyday as you brush your teeth. Give yourself little gifts for every 10 lbs you lose - a small paperweight for your desk, a nice smelling candle - something that isn't related to food or clothes. Keep track of your accomplishments - i use excel and write how i feel each day when I weigh in. Acceptance is very powerful. I hope we both find it - and keep it. Good luck and please hang in there!
  5. pinkprincess's Avatar
    Oh girlie, where to begin....we are all overweight and where we are because we have in some form, given up. I like to tell myself, sometimes over and over again, that cheating is not an option. Once I turn that switch in my head, it takes the contemplation out of the scenario. There are going to be days where we are not perfect.....p2, p3, and p4. Spend less time focused on the right now of it. Remember that this is a journey. We did not get here overnight so it's definitely not going to be fixed in 40 days. Remember that your mind controls what your body does. If you are constantly beating yourself up and thinking negative thoughts, your body is going to follow suit. But the good news is - you DO have the power to control your mind. If thinking positive doesn't come natural, write down about ten positive things on a piece of paper and say them over and over until you actually start to believe it. May sound ridiculous, but it works on two levels. 1. You will eventually start thinking positive on your own 2. Even if you have to go through your list for 2 months before it becomes natural, your mind can't wander to negative thoughts while you're going through the list.

    You can do this. Nobody said it would be easy. Life is not easy. You have been given a tool to end this problem for the rest of your life but YOU have to use the tool, it can't be done for you.

    10. I am worthy of this
    9. I deserve good health as well as happiness
    8. I control where my destiny takes me
    7. I am a beautiful, confident woman
    6. There is a greater plan and purpose for my life
    5. It's only food....it doesn't control me, I control it
    4. I can do anything I put my mind to
    3. My family and friends deserve the best I have to give
    2. I will accomplish all of the goals that I set for myself
    1. I am not a quitter, I am a woman

    Love ya girl. Hang in there! It is soooooo going to be worth it!
  6. Determined10's Avatar
    We are "losers", not because we give up, but because we are taking this one day at a time & "losing" the most important thing that brings us down . . . weight! There are probably very few people that don't take 2 steps forward & 1 step back . . . I know I have done it! It all depends on taking those next 2 steps forward! I HAVE done it, & u CAN do it! Believe in yourself, girl!!
  7. ruchallenged's Avatar
    Going to counselling helps a lot when it comes to dealing with the reasons that keep getting in the way of taking care of yourself. There are tons of options when it comes to finding a good counsellor...I would try United Way if you can't think of any...I definitely needed to talk and have a different perspective before I was even able to attempt to commit to HCG or anything for that matter. I hope this helps! Good Luck, you can do it, just gotta find your inner strength because it's your only choice.
  8. ginal5's Avatar
    I second ruchallenged. Counseling helped me with overcoming some of the internal put downs and overcoming the self inflicted perfectionism. Like if I ate one bite of something off plan and felt I needed to be nailed to the cross for my failure! It's one day and what's past is past, we can't change it. But we do have a choice for today.

    Most of the time we are our own worst critics than we keep ruminating the same negative mantra over and over in our heads and finally these thoughts become our reality. Although it may sound easy the truth is......... change the thoughts = change the pattern.

    I personally contacted Catholic Charities for counseling and it was a great help. You don't have to be catholic and a priest or nun won't be your counselor, they also bill on a sliding scale based on your income level. Sometimes just having an someone to listen is all you need (objective non friend or not related). I went once a week for a few months, made a world of difference. Do a Google search for your state +Catholic Charities Counseling.

    The other thought is OE if you feel out of control with food and obsessed with weight. Overeaters Anonymous http://www.oa.org/meetings/find-a-meeting.php The meetings are free and offer a great support system and more readily available than a counselor. The camaraderie and safety of the meetings is invaluable to those of us struggling with our addictions. There is never any pressure to join or even contribute, you do that when you are ready. Just an option.

    Don't give up...you have options available. The decision is yours.

    Sending you positive thoughts and wishes......Gina
  9. nshuman's Avatar
    Thank you ALL for your kind words I really really needed that I appriciate it. I did just that picked my self up dusted my self off and continued today on protocol I had Beef with sauted onions and tomatoes for both lunch and dinner and of course my apples today.... lots and lots of water . I just feel like im soo lost those cheats are gonna set me back so far i wanted to be at 100lbs lost by my birthday in march and I just keep screwing it up. I feel like this struggle is never going to be over its soooooo emotional it seems like everything revolves around food ... I mean wth there is anything and everything else to see or do besides eat.... but I guess thats how it is .....THANK YOU ALLL SO VERY MUCH !!!!!!!
  10. nshuman's Avatar
    one more question Im sorry for being a pain, but your opinion means alot to me .....

    Do you guys think I should continue with the short round and round two give it a hard core butt kicking do over OR take to 40 VLCD and see what happens?

    I appriciate you guys thanks in advance again!!!
  11. Beth_M's Avatar
    What day are you on now?
  12. nshuman's Avatar
    @ Beth I'm doing a short round thought it would be easy but I was kinda wrong today was much better , I was asking on someone else's post do you think I can do a steak day in P2 or is that not good? I got 12 days left ....?
  13. Beth_M's Avatar
    I wouldn't do a steak day. The cheat weight will come back off, it will just take a few days.

    I did a mini-steak day (no lunch and double protein with tomato for dinner) about a week ago, but it was to try to break a stall. I dropped the next day, but it rebounded the day after.
  14. ginal5's Avatar
    You're so right about everything revolving around food. That's been one of my biggest challenges. For the first 2 weeks I simply did not go any where because the temptations were to great. Kind of like taking a crack addict to a crack den for a visit. But once I figured out my food choices, got over the sugar withdrawal and saw the pounds drop off my strength increased.

    We also have to retrain our friends and family....they were so used to me cheating on diets that they never gave it a thought when I passed on food or stuck to my guns. Loosing weight is not just about the pounds....you are so right.

    I'm doing the 40 days. Even though I'll not loose all I had hoped to. But it's been a real learning experience and 40 days will make a short round seem like a breeze. Really the 1st round you are trying to figure everything out and trying to accept plateaus and cheats. So the 2nd round we should breeze through!

    So I vote for you to try the 40 days to help you find your HCG groove..
  15. Determined10's Avatar
    I'm nearing the end of a 43 day round . . . At first I thought this was a breeze. Half way thru, it became a challenge . . . mindless cheats, consuming alcohol, Thanksgiving, Christmas, TOM, etc. I battled different challenges. Now that I am nearing the end, I'm so thankful that I kept at it. I should end up around 23-25 lbs lost. I'm feeling pretty good about this! Could I have done better?? Probably, but I'm also looking at this as a learning experience. I'm trying to deal with my mental & emotional issues, too!

    I think you have to do what's right for you! Have a serious talk with yourself to see what you're willing to put into this round! I'm honestly looking forward to my next round! Good luck to you!
  16. nshuman's Avatar
    Its official I LOVE you guys, I made through today with ALL of your encouragment ....THANK YOU ALL

    I WILL continue with my round Its gonna be a 40 day deal .... I feel like I have the support I NEED from you all , HOWEVER (lol) there is xmas my aunt is cooking and always makes veggies as sides so I know that wont be the issue ... and well sweets dont think Ill have any im a foodie not a sweetie (lol) I am worried about NYE I LONNNNNNGGGGG for and adult cocktail and I am soooooo worried ILL drink 30lbs back .... is that what you guys call a planned cheat on this forum? any advice for my up and coming drinking binge....lol