Perseverance

I suppose I should take it as a compliment when someone says "you look like a different person". It doesn't always feel like a compliment though. It is like they are saying I looked so bad before. I guess I would like how I used to look to vanish from the face of the earth. I don't want to be reminded of it. I guess somewhere inside I thought this is how I looked... until I saw a picture that is. It is a weird thing being fat. You never quite think you are as fat as you are. I was watching Project Runway and the designer was going on and on about how hard it was making clothes for this plus sized woman and how bad she looked and nothing fit her. She was a size 14!!! I was embarrassed for the designer being so ignorant but it really brought up stuff for me since I am a size 14 right now (almost 12). 90 something pounds later and I am still considered overweight and plus sized. I just want to be normal and I don't want to think about food all the time or weight or everything associated with it. Don't know if it will happen in this lifetime but I am hopeful. I guess when I think about it I am a different person now. Maybe what they are saying is just the reflection of something so much bigger, something deep inside that has changed. I will embrace it because ...they are right I really am different now!