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Day 6 (-.8)

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Another loss. Much smaller today -- only .8, for a total of 12.6 pounds gone in 5 days. I knew the weight loss would have to slow down (otherwise, it probably wouldn't be healthy), so I'm happy with the .8. I have SO much to lose that it has always been so frustrating. Dieting and dieting only to lose .5 pound in a week. Just made me want to say, oh well, I'm fat and I'll be a happy fat woman. But I haven't been happy. This has been the single biggest frustration of my life. I went back to college when I was 35, single mom with two teenaged sons. Graduated with honors from college, then graduated first in my class from law school. Not saying this to brag -- saying it to show that I've got determination to succeed. And yet my weight has just gone up, up, up all these years. When people look at me, I feel like they're thinking, "God, what a blimp. She has no self-control, no self-discipline at all!" And that's how I've felt. No one could do what I've done in my life (and starting my solo law practice and being successful at it) without having self-control and self-discipline. But in my eating ---- none. And I didn't eat that much. Just all the wrong stuff. In court with no time to eat, so Dr. Pepper and Snickers for lunch. Same calories as a healthy meal, but it was killing me.

Now, with this program, I see incremental weight loss each day. Instead of focusing on the 160 pounds I have to lose (148 now!), I'm just focusing on doing what I should for the next meal and what will the scale say tomorrow. This makes the "one day at a time" thing so much easier. Of course, I have naysayers in my life who are telling me they've read all about hCG and how the FDA says it's bogus or unhealthy. Well, my response is that if this gets my weight off, I'm a hell of a lot unhealthier carring 160 extra pounds on my body.

And I feel great. When I'm hungry on this, it's just common hunger for a meal, and a little bit of food satisfies it. I can eat a big ol' salad with my homemade (protocol-safe) orange-ginger dressing and shredded chicken breast on it, and I'm full, happy, and know that I'm going to lose weight.

Wow. Didn't know a blog could be so therapeutic. This is like going to a shrink. Even if no one else reads it, it will be able to chronicle my journey, and I can see the results. And i'm not paying $150 an hour for a therapist. BONUS!

It's a great inspiration to read the other blogs on here. To see ups and downs, days with losses, with gains, and with stalls. And yet everyone keeps on plugging. Even with mistakes made. I'm truly hoping I don't cheat. Haven't ever made it through a diet without cheating before (obviously), and La Huerta's white cheese dip will be calling me this weekend, since that's where we always go eat after church. But I'm telling myself that when I get to Phase 4, if I want white cheese dip, I can have it in small amounts. I guess that's part of what makes this so do-able, is knowing it's not a "diet," it's a CURE. Once I get the weight off, if I just stay on maintenance, it will stay off. And through Phase 4, it will stay off. And with each round, I'll get smaller and smaller until I've lost half of myself -- the half I don't want. Hmmmm. Sort of like getting rid of my schizophrenic "other person."

Anyway, I've made a promise to myself that if I'm tempted to cheat, I'll get on here first and read inspirational blogs and message entries from the rest of you. Hopefully, that will be enough to help me. I'm on Day 6 with 37 left to go on Phase 2. The next day will be my birthday. Every year, I promise myself I'll have a chunk of weight off by my birthday. This year, I've promised myself it will be at least 40 pounds. 12 down and 28 left to go to make that goal. For the first time in my life, I believe I'm gonna get there.

Sorry for the long post. Therapy and all. You don't need to read it, but I need to write it. To get it all out of my system. To all of the doctors, governments, the FDA, and the diet industry people who just want to keep us fat so we'll be "return customers," and the skinny people who've never had a problem and just want us to stay fat so they will have someone to look down on: Guess what? we've found what works. And you're not going to influence us with your opinions. This has worked for too many people, and it will work for us. It will work for me. I do have self-control. I do have self-discipline. And, thank God, I have hCG to help me.

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  1. Dubbles's Avatar
    Heh Red. I did read your blog, all of it. I found it very moving. U have done a lot in your life to be proud of, and I'm glad u own that. Doing this protocol, losing the weight u want to lose, will be just one more thing to that list of accomplishments. And u can. Hcg will help with your hunger (did me, and I tried all diets, diet drugs, blah, blah, blah) and this is what helped. It was a combination of the hcg, plus the support from the blogs and forums. They were my inspiration and education, and helped my motivation. U know already we are here for u. We know u can get it done, u're an achiever. And we're going to enjoy hearing about your journey. Hope tomorrow is a good weigh-in for u.
  2. kellygirl2's Avatar
    Dear Red,
    I'm brand new and trying to figure out how I can blog myself, but I do so appreciate your candor. I love some of your thoughts on the subject of hcg, and I guess the proof is in the pudding right. If we get results, there is no arguing that. Everyone I have told so far tells me it's a fad diet, don't do it. It's dangerous, your health et, et.. I'm so tired of the negativity already and I'm just beginning my journey! Thanks for blogging, you write well.
  3. pinkprincess's Avatar
    Great blog Red. I have never cheated and don't think that I will. After spending most of your life beating yourself up for every mistake in eating that you ever made, it's just not worth it. Besides, I'm way too goal oriented too. I'm not saying that I haven't wanted to and haven't had to talk myself down, but my analytical self always comes through for me. It's not worth a gain, a stall, or a setback. I have the rest of my life to eat. I can do this. You are doing great! You can and will stay focused through this!
  4. Feisty's Avatar
    Hi Red, Yep, Read your blog. Couple of things caught my eye. . . Don't stop reading yet
    "Haven't ever made it through a diet without cheating before (obviously)," Really? I was thinking as I was reading that if your head is in the right place you would be a wonderful dieter. It's ok to be a wonderful dieter. That's not so much where the problem is. The problem is the.... afterward.
    Please don't say things like "if " I cheat. Just don't do it. You already said you had discipline. Use it. I started with 170 lbs to loose. That was just in September. 80 lbs gone already. There are no "If's" . There was an error in judgement but no "if's".
    Study up hon, We may need a good attorney b4 it's all over. Ugh or I may need you to come get my supplier out of the slammer.
    If you know law then you've done a bit of studying. This diet is no different. It's not "just" make it through this phase or that. You have to "work" each phase. You are new, you are starting in a good place in your head. I think you will do quite nicely. Ok, Long round this first time. Excellent plan. How's hunger? What "kind" of hcg are you using? Are you doing ok? Make sure you drink your water. I'm really excited for you. We all are.... we know what's in store for you! Keep us posted. Stay focused, Stay intent, You CAN do this.
    Updated January 29th, 2011 at 03:12 PM by Feisty
  5. Antha's Avatar
    Red, I really loved reading your blog. You've accomplished so many difficult goals in your life. I applaud you. You will be able to conquer your weight too, especially with your determination and attitude. I won't say good luck because you don't need luck - you have you in your corner.

    Absolutely read the forums. When I was hemming and hawing and had the pellets but afraid to "jump into hcg", I kept reading. One thing that was especially beneficial for me was the "Success Stories" section and looking at the Before and After pictures. I do wish there were more posted, but to see real people completely transforming their bodies made me feel like I could too. You know, these aren't the advertisement testimonials for HCG...these were/are real people on this forum changing their lives.

    Another thing about this forum is that its REAL people giving REAL reviews and honest advice and feedback. I check this forum almost daily and so far, I've lost 17 pounds and have avoided some pitfalls I might have fallen into had I not been forewarned by others having these issues and getting their questions answered.

    My blogs also tend to be long and therapeutic too. I write in a journal, but I type faster (90 WPM) so the keyboard is able to record my thoughts faster than writing by hand. Let yourself use your blog as a therapeutic tool.