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Losing Weight -- Gaining Life!

Losing weight has not solved all of my other problems in life.

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Being overweight my entire life has always afforded me with a built in excuse for everything.

I didn't go out for the sports teams in high school because I was too fat.

I didn't join the military to pay for schooling like my siblings because I could never have done boot camp (too fat).

I didn't go to college because I didn't have money because I didn't join the military... because I was too fat.

I have never had boyfriends because guys are put off by my weight.


Excuses, excuses, excuses.

But what will be my excuse now? I still have problems. I am still really lazy and unmotivated. I am finally shedding the weight that I have carried around as a shield for the past 33 years and I feel like there is a big target on my back now. And I'm the one shooting arrows at myself.

My house is a wreck. I have piles of size 18 - 24 clothes all over 2 bedrooms that I can't even wear anymore... so I just need to wash them and get rid of them. I never sent out 'Thank You' cards to all of my helpers who made Children's Camp possible. My sister's wedding is in a month and I am not doing anything to help her plan it. All I want to do is read, sleep, and mess around on the internet. Ugh.

I have spent my entire life thinking "Once I lose weight everything will be better..." but everything is still the same.

Luckily, I still have a long way to go -- so I'll just keep deluding myself into believing that when I hit my ideal weight; that is when I will magically become motivated to improve all of my other circumstances.

Right?

Right.

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Comments

  1. New34's Avatar
    You have to find something new to do that you will enjoy. I've often blamed my sadness on weight but it isn't. It's a change of mind not body. I encourage you to go out with friends don't break the date go even if you don't feel like it. I promise you will feel better. Join a gym meet new friends. Find someone you can help I know you have some strengths. Be encouraged!
  2. Grammie50's Avatar
    It is so easy to put things off until tomorrow or whenever. I love the saying don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
    I have found that if I make a "Things to Do List" it helps get me moving. Try to prioritize your list. You will be amazed at how good you feel once you start attacking the list. Your ideal weight has nothing to do with the fact that you are feeling guilty about not sending thank you notes to those deserving people. You need to set mini goals for yourself. Once you have reached that goal then reward yourself with time on the internet or a lazy moment. You have to get a plan. People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan. Life is all about what we make it. You are doing something very positive for yourself by being on this program and losing weight and getting healthy.

    Believe it or not you have made a big step by admitting that you are lazy. You can't change something you don't acknowledge. If you are at Rockbottom as your screen name suggest then you have nowhere to go but up!!

    Good luck to you and Make it a great day! It's up to you!!

    Sam
  3. Laurarosee's Avatar
    I can relate. Been there, done that, and still doing that sometimes. Even though you call it lazy it could be a mixture of depression and perfectionism. The clothes all over is overwhelming and seems impossible to totally tackle so you don't bother. Also, if your home is a mess then you will be less likely to have anybody over. Reading is solitary and allows you to escape your real world. The internet is a time suck and you can be really busy on it without conversing in person. It sounds like me before my anti-depressants. However, those little pills cause many to have weight gain.

    I do all are have done all of the things you have mentioned ie- overwhelming clutter, book and internet escape etc at one time or another. A talk therapist is not a bad thing to do and may be able to actually help.

    The clothes/house mess is too much to look or deal with all at once. Start small. Just the floor in one room. You can reward yourself with a new book. The next day, just the floor in another room. The clean clothes are probably mixed with the dirty. Grab the clean ones and put them in a bag and throw it in your trunk for good will. If your place is too overwhelming give yourself permission for just this time to THROW AWAY THE DIRTY CLOTHES THAT DON'T FIT. Yes, just throw them away. Once you have have done the floor in room, the floor in the next room, the bed in whatever room, the table in another room etc (just one spot per day), and have pretty much purged the clothes issue, and the mail and magazines and other papers and have a relatively less cluttered slate to deal with you can then worry about being environmentally conscious/giving to good will/recycling etc.

    Just one spot a day. The "flylady" which is a listing for clutterbugs and not so clean freaks like me call them "hotspots". But just one a spot a day. A big spot/area when you have a day with more time and a little spot/area when you have a day with less time. And starting now just keep up with mail, leftovers being thrown away, wiping out bathroom sink, dishes immediatly after eating etc. Just keep up and hit one hotspot. Anymore is just overwhelming.

    You just motivated me to sort one box of hand-me-downs I was given for my daughter. I have 5 boxes but I'm only going to do one. Good luck!!
  4. Perseverance's Avatar
    It is ok for us to get rid of the clothes cause we ain't going back this time! Right????
  5. amanda camille's Avatar
    you're right ... the weight often times is a symptom of a deeper issue, often one that is unresolved. Not always the entire reason, but one that can't be overlooked when it comes to weight. For me, it was a defense mechanism to protect me from many things. I've struggled with my weight since childhood but served in the Air Force for 21 years so I had to "diet" and be fit. Once I retired in 2009, I didn't have to worry about the weight, passing a physical fitness test, etc. Around that time, I began therapy for unresolved childhood issues that truly showed that my emotional eating, etc were results of things I wasn't addressing or trying to explore further. I was also diagnosed with dysthemia (low grade depression), adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalance and hypothyroidism. WOW! and I thought I was just fat! For awhile I tabled the weight issues until I got my levels stabilized, sought cognitive therapy, and basically just decided my body couldn't handle the extra weight anymore. I made excuse after excuse for my new aches and pains ... from joint pain, to sore legs and arms from working a yard sale ... yes, just a yard sale. I realized I can't deny the obvious ... my body is screaming at me to get my act together. So here I am, with you, trying to explore not only the weight gain but realizing that yes, once the weight is gone,there are still issues to deal with. Try not to beat yourself up but know that you are worth it. Maybe try to find a good cognitive "talk therapy" therapist and it may be necessary to talk about anti-depressants. The talk therapy helps, so does the medicine. I'm on a very low dose that helps. I agree with Lauraosee, start small so you don't get overwhelmed and maybe ask a good friend (someone you trust) to come and help for a few hours. I have a living room full of paperwork to file myself ... my deadline to get it done is tomorrow night! Wish me luck and good luck to you!
  6. HidiousTak's Avatar
    I know how you feel... I get that all the time and then it all seems hopeless. What is the point? If you figure it out let me know. Right now I am doing good, I hope you come out of it soon. Try reading The Sword of Truth series. Those books always kick me where I need to be kicked. Good luck and hang in there!
  7. Jacqden04's Avatar
    I have been thinking the same way until I realize that time waits for no one. It is time for you to think differently about yourself. Try new things. After all you are transforming into a new and improved person. So go for it.