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Losing Weight -- Gaining Life!

Round 3 -- here we go again. VLCD Day #2

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I've been off the grid since early September as I entered into Phase4 and had nothing new to report. I did well in Phase 3... LIW was 210 and I spent most of Phase 3 at 206-208..... which was lovely. Then my younger and oldest sister came home in mid-October for our other sister's wedding. Ugh. We ate like cows. Seriously. It was bad. I kept thinking, "I'm going to do Round 3 right after the wedding... so who cares?"

I should have cared! The thing about eating all of that food? It's not just that I gained some weight (and really, I didn't do too badly -- I started my loading days at 209.2, still below LIW) -- it's how I felt while I was eating that crap food. Was eating it fun? Heck yes. Korean Food, Mexican Food.... no measuring, no cares, no concerns. If someone else was eating it... so was I! It was lovely. But I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep at night. I was bloated. My clothes that had been fitting very nicely were tight in places that they hadn't been. I may not have gained a lot of weight... but I certainly gained some flab. My face looks fat again. How did that all happen in 2 weeks??

So here we go again. I'm back on Phase 2, VLCD. I wanted to start the week after my sister's wedding (October 17th/18th loading) -- but TOM prevented that... and I really wasn't mentally ready anyway. I was still pretty emotionally spent from having so much fun with my sister and then having them all leave again. Ugh. But now I am ready. Well, as ready as I'll ever be.

I loaded on the 29th/30th -- and did my first VLCD day yesterday. I gained 5 pounds while loading (got to 214.0)... but as of this morning, I lost my loading weight already. So that's a major blessing. I was very pleased to see that 209.0 on the scale this morning. I will be thrilled when I get down to 205 again (because I actually got there and stayed there for a little while early on in Phase 3 of the last Round)... and when I get below 200?? For the first time in 10+ years? Oh my. I will cry. I know that I will. This whole journey has been super emotional for me and I am not an emotional person.

Of course, it's not just the weight loss that has turned me into an emotional mess... my entire life has turned into one giant fork in the road and I have no idea which way to turn. It's as if I discovered that I could defeat the one thing that I was never able to beat (being overweight) -- and now I realize that I CAN DO ANYTHING -- but what do I want to do?? My sisters that I've lived with for the past 10 years have both moved out/moved on this year... and here I am -- doing the same things, but alone.

It's good though. It really is good. I'm 33 years old. It's high time that I figure out what I want out of life and pursue it.

What do I want now? To eat this delicious chicken and zucchini that I made myself for lunch.

Is it December 12th yet??

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Comments

  1. love2snorkel's Avatar
    I am so excited for you! That scale will say 199 before you know it! Do you have a onederland reward in mind?? I recently hit that mark and was elated, to put it mildly. I am rooting you on to a victory. Glad you have your focus back and so many new things in life to look forward to.
  2. rockbottom's Avatar
    I used to be big on rewards for weight loss... but now I'm finding that the loss itself is such a delight that I forget to follow through with the other reward. I need to go find my list that I made way back when and see what I had in mind for the big "below 200" moment.
  3. Perseverance's Avatar
    Glad to see you are back to posting. I missed this and was wondering how you are doing. Good luck on this round. keep us posted on how you are doing.