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Losing Weight -- Gaining Life!

Long time, No Blog. I'm alive -- and gaining back 20 pounds didn't kill me....

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I jumped off the wagon at Christmas time. I would like to say that I "fell off the wagon" -- because it sounds so much more like an accident... but I knew exactly what I was doing when I did it.

Christmas Eve I decided I would eat whatever I wanted through until the day after Christmas. I had been a rock-star at this whole dieting thing for the the entire rest of the year... and I was fed up.

But Christmas Eve/Christmas Day came and went ... and so did New Years Eve/New Years Day.... and several other minor holidays along the way and I never really fully committed to healthy food choices again.

I somehow managed to gain 12 pounds between Saturday - Saturday of Christmas Eve to New Years Eve -- and then I knocked most of that down, only to gain some of it back -- and then lose some -- gain some -- lose some... etc...

By the time my sister came home for a 1.5 week furlough on her way back to Japan (where she lives now) -- I was eating just about anything I wanted, anytime that I wanted -- and I had stabilized. Unfortunately -- I had stabilized right at 202 pounds. Boo! My LIW was 182. I had sabotaged myself by 20 pounds! And technically, I still had at least 3 weeks to go before I could do another Round of HCG.

Then I remembered that I still had around 1/2 a vial of HCG in the fridge and quite a few needles. I needed a jump start to get back to healthy eating -- and nothing boosts my resolve like some good losses. So against my best judgement, I bought a pregnancy test at the Dollar Store (HCG still active!) -- and I started up again. I don't know if this is technically a "Round" of HCG -- because I have no idea how many injections I will actually get out of this bottle... and I am sure that I should follow the protocol correctly instead.... but here I am -- making my own rules as I go. I am back down to 188.6 as of this morning -- and I should be able to do the minimum number of days of injections before I run out (23, right?). I would love to get back down to my LIW from the last official Round before I run out... but I'm just happy to have gotten the hunger-beast somewhat under control.

There is a reason that I quit eating all of that crap last year. Once I start -- I can't stop myself.

So all in all, I am feeling a bit frustrated with myself for not sticking with it -- because now I am wasting time losing weight that I already lost once before... but it was a great learning experience about what I can handle and what I cannot handle. And I am not beating myself up over it too much. I had a good time while it lasted, but by the time I started the HCG, I was feeling absolutely sick from eating poorly again.

And I say to myself over and over, "How did I live that way for so long??"

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Updated February 25th, 2012 at 12:02 PM by rockbottom



  1. Perseverance's Avatar
    God it is so easy to gain it back it is scary. I have been noticing that too whenever I choose to eat something or more than I know will keep me stable. The important thing is you are back and back on tract. I missed your blogs and hopefully will hear more from you now. Is it possible to get more hcg so you can do a longer round? I will be starting another round on March 11th. My last one was 23 days and that was easier though I fainted and hit my head towards the end of it. Makes it a little scary going into the next round.Hoping I can make it to 40 days this time as I know I have at least two rounds left if they are long ones (at least I am hoping only two). Whatever happened it was a good learning or say a planned interruption. It is much more important not to beat yourself up cause that is part of what got us here to begin with. Welcome back!
  2. HealthierMel's Avatar
    Happy that you are back . . . I missedyour blogs. Completely get the staying away from crap in the first place . . . very slippery slope . . . One day at a time is how this thing goes . . . You will do this.
  3. Newjulie's Avatar
    Happy to see you back and back on track! You jumped.. You're human... It's a new day...heck, it's a new year! Glad you are with us!