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tarte-tatin

Crap, staying with my boyfriend for a week!

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So, this morning I just found out that I'm going to have to be out of my apartment for a week, starting tomorrow!

My uncle is coming for a visit and he'll stay in my apartment while I stay at my boyfriend's flat. So although I knew he was coming, and my brain was prepared to get my food pre-cooked and in transportable form as well as get all of my clothes, etc. together as if I were going on a vacation without the vacation part, as it turns out, my landlady needs to paint my bedroom tomorrow. Which means because of the painters and fumes, I'll just have to get out a little early, which wouldn't be so bad except I'm on P2.

Now, the *****ing, complaining part is this: I've just started over, (again) and I'm very anxious about keeping my VLCD on point. I don't want to have to defend or explain, I just want to be able to have my plan and go about my days without any trouble. The big however (however), is that my boyfriend is very controlling about food. He's intrusive, just like my mother used to be when I was living at home (I've known this about my boy friend for years, how's that for picking your partners to mirror your family?!) He needs to know what I'm eating and is either pushing me to eat something or scolding me for eating something, but it is never neutral. With my mom, I learned to eat in secret so I wouldn't have to get into an argument about what I was putting into my mouth. I've done the same thing with my boyfriend. To the extent that he recently confronted me about all the almond butter and nuts I was eating at his house (during P4); he was annoyed that things would just 'disappear'.

While I was on Round 1, I just told him I was doing a cleanse which he really respected. But now he's on to me and it's totally my fault. Because I gained back about 1/2 the weight I lost (because of screwing around and being lazy) I've been complaining. So, since he doesn't want to hear about it, he doesn't want to see me eating VLCD because he thinks that eating too few calories is why I gained back a lot of the weight. If I had just kept my mouth shut, he probably would be more hands off right now.

So, the situation is, I have to stick to VLCD while I stay with him without raising any red flags. I know today we'll go to eat in an Asian restaurant we both like. In the past when I was on the VLCD also known as 'the cleanse', although he was annoyed, we would decide it was OK not to go since I reassured him that it was only temporary as soon I would be off 'the cleanse.' However, now he expects that we can go out to eat again because while I was on P4 we started eating there. So today my strategy is to just keep my mouth shut and when we go out today, I'll eat just a tiny bit of chicken and then he can take the rest to go. That will keep things on the DL.

Also, he likes to cook at home and will push his food on me and we'll get into a fight if I don't eat any of it. This has happened in the past, and has started again during the recent VLCD 'take one'. My strategy this week will be to accept whatever he gives me, then only eat a tiny bit.. In Pounds and Inches, Dr. Simeons suggests pushing your food around your plate if you go out, or in an environment where you have to look like you're eating. ugh, it looks like I have an eating disorder!

In fact, that brings up an interesting point... When I finished my Round 1, I perceived the comments about my weight loss as being critical. I think people don't understand how they're coming off when they compliment you, and it often sounds discouraging: 'are you OK, are you sick, you're losing weight so fast, is that healthy?' stuff that like. When I had my first dinner out on P3 with my best friend, I felt I had to prove to her that I actually eat. So, I ate a burger (which I never did, even before R1), without most of the bun, but still... I felt like people were scrutinizing what I was consuming and I was nervous that people thought I had an eating disorder. Very frustrating.

Anyway, to end this long entry, I realize I'm going to really have to be very mindful and calm during my week with my boyfriend. I'm trying to look at it like this, it's a great opportunity to stick to what I know is best for me eating-wise. And if I can get through this, I can learn to get through anything. I can do it, I know I can...

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  1. Dubbles's Avatar
    Hang in there, but I don't think I want to be in your shoes right now. Try and be as calm as possible about it all, though, the stress wouldn't be good for u either. Take deep breaths, and be creative in your disguised eating (as u suggest.lol.) You can get thru this week, do the best u are able. Fingers crossed for u.
  2. Beth_M's Avatar
    I'd be looking for either a motel or a new boyfriend
  3. ginal5's Avatar
    Beth might have the right idea Tarte......No girlfriends to go stay with? If you were near by I'd invite you stay with me....I've got 20 more days on vlc.....come on over! Geez, life's to short to put up with domineering controlling personalities like that sweetie. It's your life, your body you eat what you want to and to hell with those people!
  4. Dubbles's Avatar
    Heh Tarte, the other girls definitely gave better advice than I did. I'd listen to them!
  5. tarte-tatin's Avatar
    Thanks for the valuable advice! Jeeze... maybe I will split up my time! Boyfriend has *some* maturing to do, that's for sure.

    Gina, I would love to come over! It would be fantastic getting to share life at home on VLCD. Now, where do you live?

    We went out to eat - as I knew we would - and my strategy worked. I ate a tiny bit of chicken (I planned on it) and he ended up eating most of it then taking the rest to-go. Didn't even notice what I ate! Wow... lucky me.
  6. ginal5's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by tarte-tatin
    Thanks for the valuable advice! Jeeze... maybe I will split up my time! Boyfriend has *some* maturing to do, that's for sure.

    Gina, I would love to come over! It would be fantastic getting to share life at home on VLCD. Now, where do you live?

    We went out to eat - as I knew we would - and my strategy worked. I ate a tiny bit of chicken (I planned on it) and he ended up eating most of it then taking the rest to-go. Didn't even notice what I ate! Wow... lucky me.
    Pack your winter duds I live in Albion, NY right between Lake Erie & Lake Ontario.....50 miles east of BUFFALO.
  7. Abinco's Avatar
    I am from Syracuse NY Ginal5. You guys have gotten lots of snow ha? I love it up there! I live in Ga now. Tarte, I agree with the boyfriend advice. Loved Beths! Good luck to you! Glad your dinner worked out hope the week goes as well. You can do it!