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Sugar Cookie Princess Learns about control

Round 2 ~ my heads not in the game. :(

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I am not focused. I am not focused on this round. I feel frustrated with that fact. I feel frustrated that I can't commit this minute to P2. I WANT to commit, I WANT to be focused. But, I am worried. I am worried about several things. I am worried that eating 500 calories a day is going to make my hair fall out. I am worried and wondering if this is healthy. I am wondering is this good for me, mentally?

I am feeling some stress in my life at the moment too, which is causing me to not feel focused on eating properly and on protocol. In my mind I wonder, shouldn't this MAKE me more focused on my eating program so that I don't have to mentally deal with the crap that is going on with me personally? But, yet I am not turning to the simplicity of P2--I am running to food-- all my favourites. I don't WANT to be doing this either. I just want to be focused on P2 and have all these extra concerns, which brings me to here:

I am going to focus on P2 being very strict to protocol for the next 2/3 weeks however long it takes me to get to 155 on the scale. Then I am going to up my calories between 800-1000 maybe even 1200 if I am working out and working on that day. Spending the rest of my time in P2 going slower down the scale EVEN IF IT TAKES ME 3 MONTHS to do so. I am concerned about my health. Some of you I know, don't care nor seem to have the issues that others do or that I have heard of. Which is fine, more power to you but, I just don't want to mess around with my health, my hair or my thyroid.

I just felt like writing a blog about this, cause, I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. And I feel rather lonely, even on these boards it is lonely; We are all fending for ourselves on here, and some people that are helpers come off as meanies, so I can't talk to some of the senior members cause, they are so strict about the protocol its frustrating. What makes it lonely here is that you do one round and some people are done and leave the boards that you have connected too. Then there is a new group that comes in..so on and so forth.

So. Here I am feeling sad that I can't commit, that I am having commitment issues with this round and I so want to lose these last lbs but, apparently not enough to be as gung-ho about it as I was in Round 1. The thing is, is that I want fats and meats mostly and that is what my body is craving..ugh..so tomorrow, I start anew--just plugging away at this round and thinking about how to manage the best way through it. I think this round and I are having trust issues; and I don't know how to get that back.

Anyways....until next time.

A

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Phase 2

Comments

  1. Dubbles's Avatar
    Jaguar, I don't read the blogs everyday anymore, as it takes a lot of time, and I've been on a forum for p3 eaters. But I read yours today. Sorry you're feeling so down. I will say, my round 2 was the pits! I wasn't in it mentally either, everyday was a struggle. Somehow I got thru. But it wasn't easy.

    If I had hair falling out issues, then I don't know if I would do this, either. I'm just one of those lucky ones I guess that didn't have problems, health-wise while on protocol.

    As far as being militant about the protocol, you don't have to be. You are in charge of your own plan. I chose to pretty much stay on protocol because I was always so afraid of what I'd gain on the hcg, if I cheated. That alone probably kept me many times from cheating. And I liked the results I got from staying focused and just getting it over and done. Upping your protein some probably won't hurt you, anyway.

    Most people struggle with their second round. It's pretty well documented that they do. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
  2. losn30's Avatar
    I have posted this in a few other places but I thought I would post for you as well. I was also afraid of hair loss and my doctor told me to take 5,000mg of Biotin each day and it has really helped! you can get it at Target for 1.49 a bottle. Some places have it in larger doses but the one at target come in 1,000mg small pills. I just take five or six. Don't worry, you can't really get too much of it becuase you will pee out what is not absorbed. I have a friend who lost a lot of weight and hair on a medifast diet and she started biotin and it was crazy to see her hair growing back within months! many tufts of baby hair and now, 8 months later shes fine. I have started taking it while on this diet so it will aid in not having hair loss to begin with. Hope this helps...keep blogging, you are certainly not alone in this journey. Good luck.
  3. MeOnHCG's Avatar
    Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I'm on Round1 and second-guessing my commitment too. Forget each day is a struggle...it's each hour.....each moment. My thoughts are so food focused it's almost worse then just staying at my current weight. At least then I wasn't obsessing about food.......BUT, I do want this. My husband kindly reminds me. What day are you on? I'm on VLCD5, and feel that days are very slowly getting a bit better...or is that because I've allowed 3 extra grissinis lately to avoid feeling weak/tired? Either way, you can do this.
  4. TheJaguar76's Avatar
    Hi Dubbles,

    You have been one of the senior members that I appreciate the most. You have been with me the whole time, but connecting with people is a personal thing so I can hardly expect ALL of the senior members to be as sweet as you. I remember you going through a rough time in R2 from your old blog posts on it. Your right about being in charge of my food program with this stuff. Sooo..I think I am going to tweak a few things when I have the energy to do so. Still feeling really down today--maybe even moreso...ah well.

    Hi Losn30,

    I am taking 15,000 mg a day right now. And it has been helping I have also chosen to take extra, extra B12 just in case. I am also going for the Nioxin angle and buying some silica to supplement. I also take, a liquid multi, extra B-100, another hair multiple I mean as far as supplementation I have it covered. I am wondering if it is the HCG itself since prego women lose their hair when pregnant and then afterwards..dunno, if that is happening for me.
    Apparently, on this board some women would rather have one hair on their head and be skinny than be healthy. Which, I think is a totally FREAKY attitude to have. *sigh* I mean I am in that boat too--look at me, I am questioning the health of this program and yet here I am with my drops and 500 calorie foods, so I have zero room to talk about others attitudes about losing weight in conjunction with health.

    ~So, I have taken to putting up on my wall a small 8x11 piece of paper that states (1) week of how my diet will look like; if I can get through a week of staying on protocol then I reward myself with a non-food related experience. If I can just break it down to just getting through a week at a time..it will seem less daunting than thinking about P2 for 2 months

    Hi MeOnHcg,

    Apparently, its just the Round 2 yuckies. LOL..maybe its the 3 extra grissinis!! I have found in Round 1 that it did get easier and easier as the days went by until it was a month already and I didn't want to stop my round. Hopefully, that will at some point snap into place for me with this round.


    *Thank you, all for commenting and posting..really appreciate it..
  5. Dubbles's Avatar
    Round 2 really does suck. Did I mention before that I got a product off the internet called Hair Essentials. And I swear it helped me one period when I thought I was shedding. This wasn't on hcg, and I'm not sure it would be hcg friendly, but you may want to look it up on line. Just google Hair Essentials.
  6. TheJaguar76's Avatar
    Thank you dubbles I went and looked up Hair Essentials online and it looks like it will be just what I needed.