The Stabilization of MissM

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Originally Posted by Dubbles

As usual loved your observations.....I feel like a broken record. We're going out of town to see grandkids this weekend, and I know I will not be entirely p3 compliant. I haven't even mentioned losing any weight, or being on hcg to my daughter. She really doesn't understand--she is one of those size 6 people, after having 5 boys! She is balanced with her eating, works out regularly but not manically. She will eat until full and stop, save for the next day-loves donuts and pizza with her kids, but eats with so much balance and control. I feel it is just genetically how she is, buy she didn't get that from me. I know while there cake will be available, cookies--I'm taking those treats for my grandkids! They expect that from Nana. The cookies I can make and resist--its the cake, or going to get coffee and donuts, driving around looking at landscaping as we drink our coffee, have our donuts, catching up. I just know I am going to participate, these are memories we make. And while it isn't p3 compliant, I WANT to participate. My problem is not letting it be a runaway train! I need another short round, and finding time where I won't be going out with people is going to be difficult if not impossible. Especially now that spring and summer are coming, and people and friends are getting out and about more. I'm worried about eating something I think I shouldn't and then saying, well, now that I've blown it--may as well "load" , for lack of a better word. And like you, Miss M, I can eat a lot--really I feel like I can eat
more than my husband sometimes. I feel like I, too, am committed to finding a middle ground, but I am very nervous and anxious about how to go about doing that. I found a few pairs of jeans from when I had lost weight in the past on hcg and tried them on, they feel and look really nice. It's so satisfying to be able to pull on your clothes and not have to worry if you like fat, if they'll fit, and I don't want to go back there, but while now I'm not embarrassed to be seen after Covoid gain, getting out there again, socializing again--that is scary.

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Lady, you and I are in such a similar place. No way in hell do I want to not fit into my smaller clothes that I love, and yet it is so easy to forget about how easy it is to gain weight and need new fat clothes when we're in the moment of celebrating with those we love. And every moment together these days feels like a moment to celebrate, no? But we can and we will find the balance. I don't want to be obsessive or anxious or otherwise insane about food. And yet is there any other way to be healthy and live in bodies that we deserve to live in? This is the conundrum at the moment.

When I was out on a walk this afternoon I was thinking about when in my life I haven't been obsessively thinking about food, and the answer that came to me? When I was gaining weight. Not thinking about it, not trying to control it, just eating like a regular person . . . and getting myself into a situation that then left me obsessively having to restrict in order to get to a healthy weight. Ugh.

I sincerely hope you can set all of it aside and enjoy yourself, enjoy your beloveds, and maybe, just maybe, still feel good about your food choices, whatever they end up being. And if not, that you can forgive yourself, not beat yourself up, and get back on track immediately. I'm feeling pretty good about having done that today. And I now plan to string together all strong p3-compliant days until Sunday when I'll dine with friends and, again, would like to breathe a little spaciousness into it. Enjoy a glass of wine. Focus on the good company. That's what I did with BF and it was luscious. Until my moment of regret. How to find that sweet spot of freedom without regret--THAT is my aim!

LUV THIS! And it is about not giving in altogether, getting back on track immediately. Have fun with your friends this weekend. I plan on having a good time too. It may not be as bad as I am fearing, but definitely plan on a steak or all protein day when I get back! It'S going to be fun! i just want to be with family again.

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Originally Posted by DivineMissM

When I was out on a walk this afternoon I was thinking about when in my life I haven't been obsessively thinking about food, and the answer that came to me? When I was gaining weight. Not thinking about it, not trying to control it, just eating like a regular person . . . and getting myself into a situation that then left me obsessively having to restrict in order to get to a healthy weight. Ugh.

I sincerely hope you can set all of it aside and enjoy yourself, enjoy your beloveds, and maybe, just maybe, still feel good about your food choices, whatever they end up being. And if not, that you can forgive yourself, not beat yourself up, and get back on track immediately. I'm feeling pretty good about having done that today. And I now plan to string together all strong p3-compliant days until Sunday when I'll dine with friends and, again, would like to breathe a little spaciousness into it. Enjoy a glass of wine. Focus on the good company. That's what I did with BF and it was luscious. Until my moment of regret. How to find that sweet spot of freedom without regret--THAT is my aim!

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I do think about it then as well. I think about how much I am gaining :(

I think what I am going to work on first is to not consider every bite off-diet to be a cheat. There is going to be healthy foods of all kinds and treats. I will have a reason to eat healthy and a reason to have a treat. Hopefully, this will help me avoid my downfall, which is falling prey to thinking, "Well, I cheated so whatever, I might as well keep going. It's all lost already." There should be no reason that I have to gain all this weight and if nothing else, catch myself earlier.

I can relate to eating when there is company. My downfall here is that I then tend to skip a meal thinking I am making up for the off-diet food with company, but I end up eating too much then as well. Maybe eating something beforehand could be helpful for me. When I am cooking it is easy since I can make or add what I can have.

I hope you are BF work out this eating thing! Sounds like it would do him good and be all-around easier to manage get-togethers!

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Originally Posted by mrsstrong

"Well, I cheated so whatever, I might as well keep going. It's all lost already."

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I think a lot of us have fallen into that mindset and are in danger of doing so in the future. I believe it is important to be realistic with our expectations. We are surrounded by a world where unhealthy foods are celebrated and they are interwoven into our social fabric. We have all chosen a path that puts us at odds with that dynamic. And everybody else out there think that our choices are kind of crazy. And the last thing we want to do is explain our wacky diet to the rest of them. And the last thing they want to hear is our explanation of what and why we are doing this regardless of how much less weight we are now carrying. So we give in to fit in. Not make any waves. Also because we still enjoy those foods, because it is okay to: they are delicious.

But we can still stay in control. A small sliver of birthday cake or a bite of french fries or pizza isn't going to kill us. And it isn't worth freaking out over either. Just keep the portions low, then get back on the horse the next day. At worse, you gain a couple pounds, which will easily come back off providing you go back to phase 3 type eating to counter balance afterwards. In the past, I would say "screw it", keep eating because the dam has already been breached and avoid the scale like the plague. I would eventually come back to phase 3 eating (but heavier portions) and the scale would be like 5lbs heavier.

question for all. Phase 4 is right around the corner now. What are your plans? How do you plan on attacking this thing once you are out of phase 3?

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Originally Posted by wilsonblack

question for all. Phase 4 is right around the corner now. What are your plans? How do you plan on attacking this thing once you are out of phase 3?

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Not in P4 but looking back to last year was shaking up my eating...the amount i injested daily and while i continued to eat well ..some days higher calories...next cpl days less and just enjoying Sunday dinners, starches and desserts. Up until holidays that allowed me to creep down a few lbs instead of creep up. Plus with Covid i cook for Sunday dinner for whomever shows up in my family and i ate what they ate. Sometimes i would bake pies for dessert or banana bread, If i made enchiladas or tostadas i would make sure everyone took a to go container so i would not continue Sundays dinner into Monday. I did well for about 6 months and managed to drop an extra 7 lbs, Needless to say as i got mid October i started to eat into Monday...etc. gradually those losses after the round crept back up...especially with breads, candy and cookies i made for my party tray gifts.
So after two months in FL i was over my 2 lbs and just could not get back on track. Now i am back but cut short my round from various side effects... anxiety, nausea, tiredness. Maybe after first Moderna and maybe not, Made decision to end the round even tho only 10 days hhcg and flipped over to P3
If i dont drop a few lbs from now till mid May i have hcg and hhcg available.
I am going to try my prev approach to eating mindfully 6 days and Sunday eating whatever i cook

Thanks, all, for engaging me on this one. It's really so incredibly helpful to know I'm in good company. I feel a really unhealthy fear creeping in, and that can lead to isolation which makes everything worse. Truly, I appreciate your input, and your reflections on how to eat healthy, how to navigate attempts to remain at a healthy weight, and yet also be mentally and emotionally healthy with food, eg Jeff's comment about a sliver of birthday cake or a few french fries won't kill you if you get back on the P3 horse the next day. True enough. I attempted it. But what I've found is my remorse is so acute I slip into obsessiveness that doesn't lead to a good place. So, that's certainly a place for me to be aware and invite in a little more softness and compassion and forgiveness. It's not the end of the friggin' world!

However, there are patterns at play that need to be rewritten, namely with BF. Food is easy and accessible and we both have a passion for it that brings us pleasure. I would love to see us shift that focus to something like hiking or biking or kayaking or all of the above. It just takes a little more doing, especially because he's so out of shape right now. We hiked 10 miles or so two days in a row and it was glorious, but his body was pretty beat up. It's totally up to him what, if anything, to do about it. But it does really give me pause. And will give me more pause if he opts not to do anything.

As for Jeff's question about P4 . . . it's an important one. My approach, I believe, is much like Yvonne's. (Where the heck is she, anyway?) That is, to pretty much keep to P3 during the week and allow for some off-roading on the weekends. For me that means wine. Maybe a worth-it piece of warm bread with butter at a restaurant. A craft beer or two.

I may plan for recipes now and again that I love--I'm thinking especially about legumes as I really do love beans from time to time though my body's reaction to them isn't great (gas, yes, but also increased carb cravings accompanied by a scale creep in the wrong direction) and more keto-style desserts. I planned an Easter dinner, for example, that includes a keto lemon pound cake, grilled butterflied leg of lamb, grilled asparagus, and mushroom cauliflower-rice risotto with lots of parmesan. I generally avoid dairy, but the risotto and the poundcake with butter and cream cheese seem totally worth it for an isolated holiday meal. That will also include wine.

That to me is what P4 will generally look like with the occasional serious splurge but isolated to one meal at a really good restaurant with beloveds. I have always tended to do best maintaining a happy weight by keeping less-than-healthy food indulgences to those taken infrequently and out of the house.

Oh, and I plan to continue using intermittent fasting. One to two meals a day with occasional longer fast and occasionally refeeding days, like on the weekends. Basically from a late lunch after yoga on Saturday through Sunday night dinner will be me enjoying food to the hilt while also doing my best to listen to hunger and satiety--but without thoughts about overly restricting or trying to eat less necessarily. I think that will be an interesting experiment.

What's everyone else thinking?

I like your plan, M. I forgot about legumes as they are a really healthy carb. I usually gain after eating beans but that might be in conjunction with heavy helpings of everything else. I will mix in beans but mainly as a restaurant side dish and in moderation. I don't want to cook a whole pot of beans at the house and don't really like canned beans. I love the idea of P3 on weekdays and some side treats on weekends, within reason and appropriate servings.

For treats, I am good with keto replacements like fat bombs for the sweet tooth. I have a local bakery that makes keto bites. They are good. Fathead pizza is really tasty and satisfies any longing for pizza, which doesn't happen that often.

My biggest vice food wise is fried seafood but can make that count as a weekend treat every now and then. Fried catfish in peanut oil with a very light cornmeal crust isn't the end of the world.

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Originally Posted by wilsonblack

I think a lot of us have fallen into that mindset and are in danger of doing so in the future. I believe it is important to be realistic with our expectations. We are surrounded by a world where unhealthy foods are celebrated and they are interwoven into our social fabric. We have all chosen a path that puts us at odds with that dynamic. And everybody else out there think that our choices are kind of crazy. And the last thing we want to do is explain our wacky diet to the rest of them. And the last thing they want to hear is our explanation of what and why we are doing this regardless of how much less weight we are now carrying. So we give in to fit in. Not make any waves. Also because we still enjoy those foods, because it is okay to: they are delicious.

But we can still stay in control. A small sliver of birthday cake or a bite of french fries or pizza isn't going to kill us. And it isn't worth freaking out over either. Just keep the portions low, then get back on the horse the next day. At worse, you gain a couple pounds, which will easily come back off providing you go back to phase 3 type eating to counter balance afterwards. In the past, I would say "screw it", keep eating because the dam has already been breached and avoid the scale like the plague. I would eventually come back to phase 3 eating (but heavier portions) and the scale would be like 5lbs heavier.

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WB, love that sentence, "We give in to fit in."Don't want to explain hcg to them and some of the time, we do want to enjoy those foods, because they are delicious. So true, a lot of what you wrote. But so true that we don't have to give in and gain 15 lbs. Going back to clean eating should enable us to lose those 2/3 lbs and we live to "diet" and eat desired foods another day!

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Originally Posted by wilsonblack

I like your plan, M. I forgot about legumes as they are a really healthy carb. I usually gain after eating beans but that might be in conjunction with heavy helpings of everything else. I will mix in beans but mainly as a restaurant side dish and in moderation. I don't want to cook a whole pot of beans at the house and don't really like canned beans. I love the idea of P3 on weekdays and some side treats on weekends, within reason and appropriate servings.

For treats, I am good with keto replacements like fat bombs for the sweet tooth. I have a local bakery that makes keto bites. They are good. Fathead pizza is really tasty and satisfies any longing for pizza, which doesn't happen that often.

My biggest vice food wise is fried seafood but can make that count as a weekend treat every now and then. Fried catfish in peanut oil with a very light cornmeal crust isn't the end of the world.

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And you could try frying some seafood in an air fryer, I know it doesn't use the peanut oil, but you could bread with egg wash and some keto type breading. I did some orange roughy the other day in air fryer, and crushed pork rinds (which I never eat, but purchase specifically for this purpose) and it was good, really. Not like the deeply breaded fish I love fried, but it took care of a fried craving.

exactly. The only time social stuff should be a dietary issue is when we are on phase 2 for obvious reasons. Even phase 3 is doable in most cases.

MissM.... I am here !! {{Waving}} During the day I am still hectic on my project and after work I am busy with My Easter gifts/treats.. but we also had a long weekend, public holiday on Monday... so generally avoid teh computer

Like I said on my own thread.... this is actually a bit of a boring P3 but will not jinx it..... I am basically steady on or just over or under LIW... I am not denying myself anything and i do not feel as if I am losing out....but like you I have not tried legumes as yet I did slow down on red meat and been eating quite a bit of fish.... so stomach feels more comfortable, but I did take out a nice steak for this evening

I think the one big difference for me in this P3 is that I feel no pressure or that I am "on Diet" or even stabilizing.... i still do however avoid eating out, but also because with Easter coming up, we are heading for our third wave, so I limit my outside interaction with people as much as I can.... Still decluttering and selling or giving stuff away and that keeps me pretty busy

I also think the way P3 feels normal for me is, as you say, this is what I can live with long term with just adding allowances for weekends..... The ONE thing I am promising myself when I have finished my next round, once out of P4 I will still weigh at least once a week..... never allowing this to run away with me again.... that is my downfall. Even though I love to bake cook and concoct...I do not have a huge sweet tooth, and even then I often choose a sugar free version of what is available... My downfall is Potatoes..... Oi Vei!... But the way I see it now is that Potatoes fall in the treat category, kept for weekends and maybe eating out....