The Stabilization of MissM

**DivineMissM** · March 3rd, 2021, 04:53 PM

This is where I'll document my second P3. LIW on March 1: 130.

My aim for the next 8 weeks is to really focus on mindfulness with particular regard to eating and food. Staying curious about my patterns and working on mindset and emotional eating.

Food per doc's orders for thyroid health is paleo, no dairy/starch/sugar, with diabetic protocol for fruits, meaning largely low-glycemic, and limited to up to two portions a day. I'll be careful with nuts and nut butters, using them only as part of recipes/meals, not snacks or hand-to-mouth noshing. For the first couple weeks especially I'm going to not overdo fats in general, which is easy for me to do. But I'm also not even thinking about going low fat. I'm talking a couple teaspoons of fat in my bulletproof coffee rather than a couple tablespoons, for example. And full-fat salad dressing, but two tablespoons rather than four. A small avocado or a single-size portion of avocado mash rather than a whole bowl of guacamole.

Those are the restrictions. But I'm very excited about the abundance of delicious foods I'll now be adding back into my diet. I LOVE to cook, and grass-fed, pasture-raised meats and local produce are some of my favorite things to create with. I expect to enjoy every moment and learn a lot about myself along the way.

I'm doing this because I love myself and have every intention of setting myself up for the best possible healthy habits for the rest of my life as a supreme act of self care. And by "health" and "healthy" I'm thinking of all four pillars of longevity according to Mark Sisson in his excellent book "Keto For Life", which I read yesterday. I'm not aiming for keto, but I do like his thinking that longevity is rooted in choices and behavior in four equally important areas:

*diet
*fitness
*mental flexibility
*rest and restoration

So, food is just 1/4 of the story. That's an important thing I'd like to keep in mind as I shift into this next phase of my journey.

**FlirtyFlo** · March 3rd, 2021, 09:52 PM

Excellent first day morning mindset my friend... very much what p3 should be about!
Regarding fats....In my younger days I was a DrAtkins girl, and when i was first diagnosed with cancer, I did best myself up about a lifetime of animal fats. My theory is that even if P3 does not restrict fats or other stuff, does not mean I HAVE to eat them.... and low carb is a lifestyle I can live by... should have a look at that book as well

So today mark end of 24 hrs... fingers crossed
Go forth and seize the new life ahead!

**DivineMissM** · March 4th, 2021, 02:26 AM

Originally Posted by FlirtyFlo

Go forth and seize the new life ahead!

Love this! Thank you, Yvonne!

**DivineMissM** · March 4th, 2021, 02:39 AM

I spent some time rereading my last P3 log and man was that helpful! (Can't thank you enough, Yvonne, for encouraging me to do that!)

Here are my observations:

1. My pitfalls/pressure points last time around included
*keto treats/technically compliant baked goods as a gateway to less-than-healthy eating and choices
*less-than-healthy eating with BF
*PMS/TOM throwing me off my game

AND

2. I would like to return to the level of activity I was doing in the fall, especially walking. And it's the perfect time of year to do it--SPRING!!

Weight this morning (pre-BM) still at 130. Still no period.

I went to bed seriously hungry last night, and I'll give myself credit for keeping to protocol on the very last day and not saying "F it!" and stuffing my face late at night. I kept telling myself how much better I would feel in the morning for having resisted that impulse.

However, I didn't sleep well for the hunger, and I woke up way too early and very hungry. The gal at my doc's office confirmed my suspicion that there can be more hunger the closer one is to goal while on HCG, so at least there's that. But this is a distinct difference from last round when it took me a while to regain my appetite in P3. So, my mindfulness practice regarding eating gets to start pronto!

I began this day with my beloved high-octane coffee: 1 t spiced ghee, 1 t mct oil, 1 T nut pods creamer, and a scoop of collagen. Did the trick. As hungry as I am, the thought of actual food in my belly this early in the morning is quite off putting. So I went with the liquid nourishment instead and will move on to my meditation and yoga practice with an empty belly, just how I like it.

Hmmmm. Maybe it's useful to befriend my emptiness right now. Eschew that impulse to be constantly full. Explore the pleasures of waxing and waning hunger. Just a thought.

I also marked the end of P2 by ordering myself a new bathing suit last night. Keeping my eye on the prize of summer--and with the intention of stabilizing and maintaining for the six months that will take us through the summer. I have long-term goals beyond that, but it feels like a good intermediary between P3 and life.

And my East Coast friends and I already have a house on the ocean rented for the first week of August, so that's my visualization: seeing myself there with them in my cute new suit!

**tracy** · March 4th, 2021, 04:22 AM

Come on east to the ocean, my friend!

**wilsonblack** · March 4th, 2021, 06:24 AM

Really excited to see you are doing another P3 thread. Will be following.

I will post on my thread in the men's forum but I have made the decision to make today my last dose day. That means P3 will begin Sunday for me (HHCG only requires 48 hours to transition off, not 3 like medical grade).

**Dubbles** · March 4th, 2021, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by DivineMissM

I spent some time rereading my last P3 log and man was that helpful! (Can't thank you enough, Yvonne, for encouraging me to do that!)

Here are my observations:

1. My pitfalls/pressure points last time around included
*keto treats/technically compliant baked goods as a gateway to less-than-healthy eating and choices
*less-than-healthy eating with BF
*PMS/TOM throwing me off my game

AND

2. I would like to return to the level of activity I was doing in the fall, especially walking. And it's the perfect time of year to do it--SPRING!!

Weight this morning (pre-BM) still at 130. Still no period.

I went to bed seriously hungry last night, and I'll give myself credit for keeping to protocol on the very last day and not saying "F it!" and stuffing my face late at night. I kept telling myself how much better I would feel in the morning for having resisted that impulse.

However, I didn't sleep well for the hunger, and I woke up way too early and very hungry. The gal at my doc's office confirmed my suspicion that there can be more hunger the closer one is to goal while on HCG, so at least there's that. But this is a distinct difference from last round when it took me a while to regain my appetite in P3. So, my mindfulness practice regarding eating gets to start pronto!

I began this day with my beloved high-octane coffee: 1 t spiced ghee, 1 t mct oil, 1 T nut pods creamer, and a scoop of collagen. Did the trick. As hungry as I am, the thought of actual food in my belly this early in the morning is quite off putting. So I went with the liquid nourishment instead and will move on to my meditation and yoga practice with an empty belly, just how I like it.

Hmmmm. Maybe it's useful to befriend my emptiness right now. Eschew that impulse to be constantly full. Explore the pleasures of waxing and waning hunger. Just a thought.

I also marked the end of P2 by ordering myself a new bathing suit last night. Keeping my eye on the prize of summer--and with the intention of stabilizing and maitaining for the six months that will take us through the summer. I have long-term goals beyond that, but it feels like a good intermediary between P3 and life.

And my East Coast friends and I already have a house on the ocean rented for the first week of August, so that's my visualization: seeing myself there with them in my cute new suit!

Miss M, love the "Maybe it's useful to befriend my emptiness right now. Eschew that impulse to be constantly full. Explore the pleasures of waxing and waning hunger." Leez might instruct us to not go hungry in P3, but I get your sentiment, too. For me it is almost like befriending "delayed satisfacation". After this PI I have been struggling some mentally, but I keep telling myself, I can wait closer to dinnertime to eat, I'm not starving, just anxious to eat--but I can exercise that muscle to say no, to wait a bit.

Enjoy your first P3 day!. So glad you are posting, it helps all of us. Spring, thoughts of summer must be in the air--I ordered a couple of bathing suits on line last night as well! Don't have plans for ocean trip, as yet--but paid dues for the swim club, and definitely plan to be there often this year. Covoid closed all that down last year. Am excited to return to a little more normalcy, hoping anyway.

**DivineMissM** · March 4th, 2021, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by tracy

Come on east to the ocean, my friend!

Rehoboth Beach is our playground. Folks from your neck of the woods vacay there, too, no? Such a fabulous spot!

Originally Posted by wilsonblack

Really excited to see you are doing another P3 thread. Will be following.

I will post on my thread in the men's forum but I have made the decision to make today my last dose day. That means P3 will begin Sunday for me (HHCG only requires 48 hours to transition off, not 3 like medical grade).

Thanks, friend. Congrats on your near-completion of another successful round! I'll be following your P3 journey as well. This is the best part!

Originally Posted by Dubbles

Miss M, love the "Maybe it's useful to befriend my emptiness right now. Eschew that impulse to be constantly full. Explore the pleasures of waxing and waning hunger." Leez might instruct us to not go hungry in P3, but I get your sentiment, too. For me it is almost like befriending "delayed satisfacation". After this PI I have been struggling some mentally, but I keep telling myself, I can wait closer to dinnertime to eat, I'm not starving, just anxious to eat--but I can exercise that muscle to say no, to wait a bit.

Enjoy your first P3 day!. So glad you are posting, it helps all of us. Spring, thoughts of summer must be in the air--I ordered a couple of bathing suits on line last night as well! Don't have plans for ocean trip, as yet--but paid dues for the swim club, and definitely plan to be there often this year. Covoid closed all that down last year. Am excited to return to a little more normalcy, hoping anyway.

Thank you so much, Dubbles!

Swim club? How exciting! It feels like we're light years away from the possibility of our city pool being open. Would love to be able to swim laps this summer again in the sunshine.

You'll learn in Beck Diet Solution about "Hunger is not an emergency" if you haven't already. It was a real game changer for me. And yet, I'm discovering that this post-HCG hunger is REAL. It felt SO GOOD to finally eat and fill my belly with satiating foods. Turns out my breakfast was pot roast and mashed cauliflower. I was in heaven. Reminded how food tastes the best and eating is the most pleasurable when I'm truly hungry and give my body what it needs. And that I'm best poised to eat to satisfaction rather than overdo it when I'm appropriately hungry--not too much and not too little. That's the part that requires discernment and practice. I'm definitely not there yet!

Anyway, the important thing I think is to stay present to the sensations rather than acting mindlessly as I have in the past, and stay curious about the process . . . forgiving myself for any indiscretions that may arise. It's all learning if we choose to use it that way. . . .

**justgitterdone** · March 4th, 2021, 08:30 AM

Thanks for doing a P3 log MissM!

**FlirtyFlo** · March 4th, 2021, 09:42 AM

My friend... sometimes my cheeks hurt ... you make me smile so much! thank you!

Did you nit dug out a few sexy bikinis in our last p3? Or are those no longer appropriate?

Sorry about the hunger... do you not think that maybe you mistake Pre TOM cravings as hunger? But i also see your point... you are basically on goal are you not?

I must say i too am excited about the potential about being hunger driven?... still worried not to skip meals... that is what I have to be mindful of first and foremost...

P3 can be such a powerful journey if it is approached and executed correctly... looking forward to the journey ... still in two minds if i need to log calories on MyFitnessPal or do what comes naturally....

You go girl !!!

**Dubbles** · March 4th, 2021, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by FlirtyFlo

My friend... sometimes my cheeks hurt ... you make me smile so much! thank you!

Did you nit dug out a few sexy bikinis in our last p3? Or are those no longer appropriate?

Sorry about the hunger... do you not think that maybe you mistake Pre TOM cravings as hunger? But i also see your point... you are basically on goal are you not?

I must say i too am excited about the potential about being hunger driven?... still worried not to skip meals... that is what I have to be mindful of first and foremost...

P3 can be such a powerful journey if it is approached and executed correctly... looking forward to the journey ... still in two minds if i need to log calories on MyFitnessPal or do what comes naturally....

You go girl !!!

I think I read where Leez said to someone to eat to hunger cues, not worry so much about calories, for a few days--then maybe go back to make sure calories are up. I admit during my PI, I was aware of calories, but at end of day--would try and reconstruct to make sure I ate enough I think I averaged 1500-1700, but she said should work to reset around 2000 a day. And with your walking, I should think you could eat that many. And Miss M--she does a lot of exercise too. Def aim for more, not less to reset. Just me sayin.

**DivineMissM** · March 4th, 2021, 01:24 PM

Yvonne, my old bikinis are too big, LOL! Decidedly not sexy to have my (now smaller and more wobbly) bits hanging out in all the wrong places. Decided to treat myself.

And yes, I'm basically at goal. I think if I can hover between 125 and 130 it'll be the perfect sweet spot for my body. So, I've ended this round at the high end, and that's just fine for now. Honestly, I haven't been this slim or at this weight since I was pre-pubescent. That's more than 30 years ago. So no doubt my body will very much do its darnedest to regain. And I'll do my darnedest to stabilize well and reset that old hypothalamus.

It is entirely possible if not likely that the hunger/cravings are TOM-related. Who the heck knows? I guess I'll find out when my period starts and discover if and how my hunger changes.

The question of whether to track or not track is a good one, I think. In direct contrast to Yvonne, I'm much more likely to overeat than undereat if I don't keep track in some ways, so since I'm a lifetime ww member and still attend meetings and use their tools, I loosely track smart points just to make sure I'm within range. I can do that AND practice mindful eating. I think it works together. But I'm absolutely not tracking calories or macros or what have you. It just makes me a little too obsessive then crazy then fatigued then throw in the towel. That's what works for me. Most of the time.

But of course ultimately I'd like to get to a place where I simply eat intuitively. As well as move and sleep and work and love and enjoy life intuitively. Is that too much to ask? LOL. I'll probably always need some structure and have the need to treat my body like a toddler, putting myself to bed at a certain hour and making sure I drink my water and get my steps and don't stand at the kitchen sink stuffing fistfuls of macadamia nuts down my pie hole while looking out into the distance when I've received some troubling news. . . . but I digress. I think the beauty of P3 is it's an opportunity to have some parameters while also riding our own bikes and keenly observing our patterns and behaviors mindfully--perhaps even with the intention of discovering a kind of food freedom for ourselves.

It probably is better to overdo it than underdo it for the first few days, Dubbles. But I'm also mindful that the first 10 days of P3 are the most crucial. Part of me could go absolutely hog wild today. Another part of me is afraid to let go of intermittent fasting. The wisest part of me says, Relax, Sweetheart. Listen to your body with love and care and curiosity. If you're hungry, eat. When you're satisfied, put down the fork. And eat nutritious things. Mostly veggies. Plenty of protein. And some fat. But don't overdo it. The next opportunity to eat is always within reach.

I'm trying to allow that wisest part of me to have the loudest voice right now so I can heed its wisdom with ease.

Because here's something I'm observing: that I'm happier with smaller portions at the moment, even if that means eating with greater frequency because a smaller meal doesn't tide me over for hours and hours like a bigger meal would. But that's part of listening to and responding in kind to hunger and satiety. So I need to be open to doing it differently than I have in the past. I don't need to limit myself to OMAD during P3. In fact, I probably shouldn't. I also don't need to do strict Whole30. Been there, done that, drank the kool-aid. Need to ride my own bike now. With the training wheels of "no sugar, no starches" and weighing every day.

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