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Thread: LOVELY LOSERS 2019 - Jumping into January

  1. #49
    Super Member! PearlyMae's Avatar
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    Ok, here is where MY head is right now:

    I am basically 15 pounds over where I have kept myself, off and on, for the past 5 years. Every other time I have 'Swoll Up" like this, I have gotten back on track and done rounds until I am back there. Last round, I left off before making goal, and I think that really impacted my thinking. I was settling for OK rather than for what I wanted.

    For my age, I am still "Not Bad" and I have been dreading getting back on track even though I know the way I eat most of the time is not just for weight, but for many health issues. My hypoglycemia and my hiatal hernia are both easier to manage without carbs and sugar. I noticed last night that both heartburn and gassiness are back, after eating junk for a several weeks. I would rather not have either of those again!

    But here is the thing. I have been feeling resentful of my entire life for several years now. I am stuck in a job that is not interesting or satisfying to me, and I don't make enough money to live on, so have to work a second, part time freelance gig to make ends meet. That means I work All. Of. The. Time.

    I have no social life. I have no love life. I have no friends. Well, human or adult friends. I am blessed with two little dogs and my special needs nephew goes out to eat with me once a week at either Subway or Wendy's. Woohoo.

    Basically, I have been feeling like I have no future. I have little savings and retirement, though I am only 6 months away from 'full" Social Security, is not in the cards. Financially, I'll have to work until they drag me away and I can only hope I have dementia by then so Medicaid can put me somewhere quiet. I make a lot of jokes on here, but this is not meant to be funny.

    So, hopelessness has been a factor in my not wanting to do another round. I mean, why bother? Nobody cares what my body looks like, or how I dress, and even though I enjoy clothes when I am closer to my goal weight, I dress more professionally than I probably have to for my little jobs. I could probably wear the same pair of elastic waist 'action wear' pants two weeks in a row without anyone even noticing.

    But even though I cannot see a future, I will have one of some kind. I am not going to settle for being a lonely little old lady in sweat pants and I refuse to wear socks with sandals. Okay, THAT was a joke.

    The reason for me to do a round and get back to my goal weight is to keep fighting for a future where I am not alone, where I feel valued and where I feel myself. Me without eyeliner is not me. Me with my stretchy belt riding up so it sits under my bra is NOT ME. (Well, it kinda IS me, today! Dang it.)

    The reason to watch my weight and health is because I deserve to have a decent figure and good health. But of course, ain't nobody gonna give me any of that but me.

    Maybe just giving myself a little pep talk here. I THINK I have convinced myself that I will do this, but I may yet wobble. Anyone else want to share their motivation and give us all a little inspiration? I know following Tightwad (Ronnie) always inspires me, as she courageously faces wowza health issues and STILL shows up and presents arms. As many of you do.

    I'm a wuss. If I am tired, I will eat anything. But sugar crashes turn into exhaustion, so I'm INSANE to eat M&Ms! (I fell face first into a whole family sized bag on the way to make a speech last week and my heart was pounding and I couldn't catch my breath from all that sugar. I was so hyper, I probably talked way too fast. Blew the presentation and then my hands were shaking from coming off of sugar and all I wanted was more!) By now, you would think I would know better.

    Okay. 'Nuff said. Onward.

    P
    PearlyMae (AKA Polly Pocket)
    Live Like You're in Love & You WILL Be!


    Jan 2013: 173 to 126.8. Multiple rounds since then to stay there! Back Again!

  2. #50
    Super Member! Kar's Avatar
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    Lemonstevia, go ahead and skip that melba! It seems like most people do these days.

    Oh, Pearly! Thank you for sharing. I started to chuckle at your dementia comment, then promptly stopped in reading "this is not meant to be funny." Ahem. I did take the content of your post seriously, as always, and very much appreciate your wit even on serious topics.

    I recall over the years your job woes and still hold out hope that you will be able to move to something more satisfying. I'm sorry to hear you have feelings of hopelessness, but it sounds like you're giving yourself a good pep talk. There IS a future, even though you don't know exactly what it will look like. (Other than it won't include wearing socks with sandals.)

    I have virtually no social life, either, but that's primarily by choice. Often when my weight starts creeping up and I decide I'll do a round "soon" I'll eat some junk I would normally avoid. No one's going to see me naked, anyway. But I do feel more comfortable when healthy and that keeps me motivated.


    Week 1 VLCD results: -1.8, -1.0, -1.4, -1.4, -1.2, -0.4, +0.6
    Week 2 VLCD results: -0.6, -0.0, -0.2

  3. #51
    Super Member! PearlyMae's Avatar
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    Thanks, sweet Kar!
    When I decided to go after better breast reconstruction (first two rounds were 'botched'), I told my sisters that I realized that the only man who ever sees them may be the undertaker, but I'm gonna by darn impress him! And get big enough ones so that he has trouble closing the lid!
    P
    PearlyMae (AKA Polly Pocket)
    Live Like You're in Love & You WILL Be!


    Jan 2013: 173 to 126.8. Multiple rounds since then to stay there! Back Again!

  4. #52
    Moderator sdwis's Avatar
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    Pearly,

    Trust me, I've felt just like you have once upon a time, but found that getting to a healthy and sexy weight gave me "new life" and attention that I had missed out on for so long since I just faded into the woodwork with everyone other middle aged woman who had given up and decided to just blend in and look like everyone else my age group - embracing my three best friends - dumpy, frumpy, & grumpy.

    For me, once I got to my goal weight (mid 140's), I began to get out more, dress better, and started getting tons of compliments from strangers of all ages, genders, and ethnicities. Even though I was lonely at home with nothing but my dog, it gave me a real boost of confidence and totally changed my personality to a bubbly outgoing person others described as nice, sweet, and even "beautiful". Fast forward to now, I have a quite a few new friends, a job that pays well and allows me to work from home 100%,, and also new beau - who might end up being my husband. I attribute it all to my new attitude and hope for the future, not just because I lost weight, but because it gave me confidence and a new outlook that I could also do other things I desired too - find new friends and new professional opportunities and remain positive during the times it did seem "hopeless" or I would say "what's the use - no one cares or notices me". And yes I am in my mid 50's
    The Moderator currently known as Coco :

    Stable @ 145 for over 3 years. Height - 5'10
    Starting Weight: 220 lbs.
    Lost 75 lbs. in 3 rounds.
    Went from Size 14/16 at my heaviest to Size 2/4 now!!!

  5. #53
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    Pearly, you go, girl! Being single, close to retirement, and currently unemployed, I get what you are saying!

    Don't let excess weight hold you back, get rid of it with this wonderful tool (hcg) that we have. Giving in to carrying more weight than you are comfortable with, will only make things worse.

    I let myself gain 40 lbs and kept it for over 12 years; now I have type 2 diabetes. I won't let weight creep back up again. You are clearly a fighter: you will get this done.

    Onward!

    Lynne

  6. #54
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    Hi, I started a long round of P2 on January 3rd. I lost on HCG a few years back and lost 50lbs...but then I was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia 2 years ago and the pain put me on the couch and on Carbemazepine and I regained it all. Iím fighting back now. On day 7 of P2
    216.8lb..209.4
    very happy. Iím following pounds and inches but Iím giving myself 550-600 calories/day.
    Iím 5í8 big boned, size large menís gloves 😱. Well thatís my excuse anyway. Anyway I can go down to 500 if/ when I stall later in the round.👍. Iíve checked this forum out a couple over the past few Year but I didnít see anyone around. Iím glad to see someone here. So hello. Good HCGing everyone. Iíll be back tomorrow...this forum was very helpful in my past rounds.

  7. #55
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    Pearly - while I can't fully understand where you are in your life I can understand that feeling of what's next, what's the point. I am not big into religion but I truly believe that there is a an ultimate plan that we are following and he sees the bigger picture.

    I'm sorry about your work woes - being underemployed is tough. I dropped from a controller to sr acct when we moved to the US and sometimes I have trouble 'accepting' that I am not the boss, I have to ultimately bend even if I believe it is wrong. I needed the flexibility to be able to run after my kiddos in their sports endeavors so big picture it makes sense - little picture burns my *** a bit.

    I do know that happiness can be found at all ages and do wish you all the happiness you deserve.

    PS - mine will point to the sky on the day I die too

  8. #56
    Super Member! Kar's Avatar
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    Welcome, Kimbuddha! It's nice to have you join us.


    Week 1 VLCD results: -1.8, -1.0, -1.4, -1.4, -1.2, -0.4, +0.6
    Week 2 VLCD results: -0.6, -0.0, -0.2

  9. #57
    Super Member! Kar's Avatar
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    P2D14 in progress & creeping down toward goal!

    Just a little update particularly for those curious about 3.0 (keto) protocol, since there's not a lot of information out there...

    I tried 3.0 in an earlier round and experienced issues with blood circulation, which I believe can be attributed to not eating enough good carbs. I thought I'd try it again this round and keep an eye on my carbs. After reading Lynne's approach (thanks for sharing!) and a little more research online for calculating macros with hcg, it appears I was targeting way too much fat and not enough protein during that prior round and earlier in this round. Now I'm careful to get my 20g carbs, targeting 100g total protein and remaining calories from fat to land between 700-800 calories per day.

    This protocol is easier for me to follow when normal routine has been interrupted, which applies to me now. I need to eat out at restaurants a lot more often than usual because work "stuff." 3.0 is easier for me to manage without anyone else even noticing that I'm dieting. I also don't find myself counting down the hours to P3 like a kid counting down to Christmas. I might need a few more days to get to goal weight than I would if OP or 2.0, but I'm ok with that.

    Hope TESS (The Evil Stupid Scale) is being kind to all today!


    Week 1 VLCD results: -1.8, -1.0, -1.4, -1.4, -1.2, -0.4, +0.6
    Week 2 VLCD results: -0.6, -0.0, -0.2

  10. #58
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    P2D10 down to 207.8 Another -1.8lbs

    Kar: I try to keep my carbs under 30. I noticed on past rounds when I had tomatoes and both fruits I wouldnít lose that day. Now if I make shrimp Diavolo (just spices and shrimp)with tomato I skip I fruit.
    I also limit my onion if if Iím eating the fruits, anything to keep the carbs around 30.

    So much energy coming back already. Iím cooking everyday, Going up and down 3 flights of stairs without being winded. Mentally sharper.
    Itís been a few years since Iíve felt this good. Happy today.😎

  11. #59
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    Iím doing Nuimage with vitamin B and something else,lol.

  12. #60
    Super Member! bluetechseeker's Avatar
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    Helloooooooooo, I'm back! I planned on starting in January, loaded on New Years Eve and New Years Day. Planned on doing patches, but caved and am on sublingual. Planned on trying hcg 2.0 which I DID follow through with I have RA, fibro, hypothyroid, and a lot of back issues so I'm on a lot of meds which makes things pretty difficult. I recently started the Humira injections for the RA, I'm noticing really good results starting from it BUT weight gain is a side effect (as it is on many of my meds). So, I started this round WAY up, have lost 15.1# as of VLCD9 and have tons of determination to keep going.

    Hubby and I are buying a house, closing on Monday. We'll be painting the interior ourselves, having other work performed by contractors. I figured I'd have enough other stuff going on over the next month or so to totally distract me and keep me occupied while being on hcg. I don't tend to have exhaustion or anything on hcg, I hope this round holds true to that.

    So far I feel like I'm really, really cheating on 2.0! I like the variety, really like the amount of protein I'm able to have, and feel it's way more sustainable for me to complete a long round. This isn't my first rodeo, I did hcg for the first time in 2011, lost 57# and stuck to straight protocol. Me doing 2.0 is WAAAAAAY daring for me, but we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't seem to be panning out, I'll just revert to the regular protocol.

    Anyway, it's good to "see" everyone again and I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you

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