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Thread: Lovely Losers are Joining June with Joy and Jocularity!

  1. #517
    Super Member! PearlyMae's Avatar
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    Bricky, Why not go to his parents? He is not a 35 year old man. He is still under his parents' roof. They are the ones to have long talks about what he is writing letters about, not you all. This young man needs parenting. That's not to say his parents will DO proper parenting, but he sounds like a very unhappy young man who attaches too easily and obsesses too much. His parents, if they are worth anything, will want to KNOW he is doing it again.

    And I mean AGAIN because when someone treats another person in an inappropriate way, whether it is loving too much or something completely different like being rude or condescending, etc. etc. they don't just do it ONCE or to ONE person. They do it over and over and to everyone.

    His parents will either thank you for worrying about the wellbeing of this boy, or .... will be useless. But either way, you need to turn his focus away from all of you, and by talking to him, writing him, etc. you are just keeping the cycle going. You know, it's the old 'don't care if it is negative attention or positive attention, just wants ATTENTION.' thang.

    my two cents! P
    PearlyMae (AKA Polly Pocket)
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  2. #518
    Super Member! PearlyMae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katt View Post
    Pearly - You said you took a B 3 too? That is niacin and you experienced a not uncommon side effect from it.

    http://www.livescience.com/51825-niacin-benefits.html
    Dang, that's it entirely! I have read so many good things about niacin, too. Hmmm... I will avoid it for a few days and then see if I can do just a smidge. I should eat yogurt FIRST to give it something soft to land on, too. P
    PearlyMae (AKA Polly Pocket)
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    Jan 2013: 173 to 126.8. Multiple rounds since then to stay there! Back Again!

  3. #519
    Super Member! sandiegorandi's Avatar
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    Ok! I just saw your post Katt. I LOVE the photo of the bridge with the waterfall in the background. Now I am GREEN with envy!!! Lucky you!




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  4. #520
    Super Member! brick's Avatar
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    His parents are a whole other story.

    Basically he lives with his father... Mother falsely claimed rape and was found to have lied... Mother took daughters and moved up north and has since remarried... No contact with son.

    This happened when young man was 14. Dad more or less treats him as peer rather than son... Although they seem to have a good relationship... But not parental.

    I don't believe the parent route will do much good.

    Sent from my VIVO XL using Tapatalk

  5. #521
    Super Member! brick's Avatar
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    I agree Pearly that he is seeking Maria's attention in any form.
    Maria sent a quick note " I don't think it is a good idea for you to come to the house. If you need to talk about something email is fine. "

    If he tries to push his wish my letter will be sent. If he shows up uninvited... Hubby says he will speak to him. I don't know how I feel about that

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  6. #522
    Super Member! johnnysangel99's Avatar
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    Hello Lovelies!

    SGR ~ So glad Dave is getting better! And thank you for the compliment!! So glad his friends are there to help. What an ordeal, but you're a stong and intelligent lady, you'll get things taken care of.

    Not for much longer 70's Babe ~ enjoy your home and the peace & quiet! When are you ending your round?

    Katt ~ love the pictures! Good for you on the hiking.

    Pearly ~ that's terrible and scary! Glad it's getting better ............ geez.

    I'm looking forward to a beautiful weekend here in Ohio. Camping out in our own yard. LOL That's always a blast ......... Curly will be joining us, so you can count on pictures on Monday.

    Hope you all have a great weekend!






    LCHF

  7. #523
    Super Member! PearlyMae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brick View Post
    His parents are a whole other story.

    Basically he lives with his father... Mother falsely claimed rape and was found to have lied... Mother took daughters and moved up north and has since remarried... No contact with son.

    This happened when young man was 14. Dad more or less treats him as peer rather than son... Although they seem to have a good relationship... But not parental.

    I don't believe the parent route will do much good.

    Sent from my VIVO XL using Tapatalk

    Uh oh. Still, as said above by others, parent should know how upset this boy is. They may not know how to handle it, but maybe someone, grandparent, older sibling, etc. can help. He could do real harm to himself or your family, you just don't know. I was going to recommend a high school counselor, but uh oh, you homeschool so you ARE the high school counselor. And it is summer.
    Perfect storm.

    At any rate, I'm gonna recommend you not send long letter explaining. Just keep the communication short and sweet. And repeat. and Repeat again as needed. Maybe something like "You are a great kid, but our daughter is not interested. Please respect her and our family's choices and move on. Have a great summer."
    P
    PearlyMae (AKA Polly Pocket)
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    Jan 2013: 173 to 126.8. Multiple rounds since then to stay there! Back Again!

  8. #524
    Super Member! katt's Avatar
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    Oh Brick! Sorry for the situation with the young man. It sounds like he has abandonment/attachment issues. Poor kid.

    At the same time, his behavior is inappropriate and he needs to move on, as you've said. I really don't have any advice, but am sending you, hubs, and Maria good thoughts and energies to deal with him.

  9. #525
    Moderator (HDI Duchess) Christy824's Avatar
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    JonJon - Hooray!! More Curly pictures! Have fun, I know you will.

    P - Niacin. A-HA! Yeh, I can't do that. I can't even take a B vite complex because i have such a bad reaction to niacin. I take B12 every morning, to put a little more spring into my giddy-yup, but nothing else B or B complex - it also makes me VERY nauseated, to the point of throwing up. I always thought it was all vitamins (because they all have Bcomplex in them) but if you take the B away, no problems. So I take a lot of individual supplements. A pain in the ***, but Jim and I both have done well with it.

    Randi - thanks for the update, we are sending good thoughts & prayers all the time. At least he is sharing it all WITH you and not trying to go around you, like some would, right? Just think of it as a good beginning on all the stuff you were gonna have to know anyway with your new hubby in the Fall. I'd go buy myself a brand new pretty zip-around leather binder, to keep all my notes and "to do's" in, so I could put a big old red check-mark by all the things I'd accomplished - perhaps that would ease his mind as well?

    (pardon, the Exec Assistant in me just slipped out).
    Christy
    It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.


    I am a Moderator of the Hcg Diet Info Forums. My statements are not intended to treat, diagnose or cure any medical condition.
    Medical Disclaimer

  10. #526
    Super Member! sandiegorandi's Avatar
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    I love that idea Christy!! So would he, as I'm not the most organized person when it comes to paperwork, but he totally is.




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  11. #527
    Super Member! brick's Avatar
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    I am not opposed to the idea of keeping it short and repetitive.
    I am hoping Maria's short response telling him no to coming by will be effective....

    I will keep your words about his father Pearly. They are wise and I would want to know if my kids were behaving that way.

    I guess depending on how he deals with Maria's straight out no will dictate our next step.

    Kind of sad for Maria. First real attempt at boyfriend and dating and this happens.

    On the plus side she said it really helps her understand what are deal breakers and how to not be afraid to walk away.

    In her words.... I am not his only friend... He doesn't have to do this to me. This is his problem. I have been patient and supportive beyond what I should be.


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  12. #528
    Super Member! Sunshinehcg's Avatar
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    Brick: My 2 cents are to kindly but firmly set a boundary and there should be zero contact between Maria and this boy. Being his mother left him is why he is got overly attached and can't let go and is grasping at reasons to stay involved. I always say rejection is God's protection. When someone doesn't want to be in a relationship they mean it and it can't be a good relationship when one person isn't wanting it. It may be the perfect girl for him is right around the corner. Be kind and send him on his way, be it you say it or write it.

    Randi: I have been doing yoga off a program on my computer. I am trying to add in a bit more each time I do it. It's from a program called the 21 day yoga body. I am working on building up my own practice and get into a routine of doing it no matter where I am. I never seem to make the classes. This from a person that took yoga teacher training! LOL. Isn't Christie the wise one and get a book! Great idea. I am not a paperwork person either.

    I have pretty much botched this round. I lost 6lbs in the beginning and have stayed the same. The good news I suppose is I didn't gain it back.

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