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I'm still here--is it the 10th?

  1. cl2
    I have my good moments and bad. No--I'm not on the diet. I made it to CO on the drops and Mike made me his pasta that I love--that was it. Out the window. Sunday while he skiied, I ate everything I could think of and finished it off on the drive home. Tuesday, I got paid--but licorice, mints, butterfinger. I don't even enjoy it--just my addiction. I realized I'm better off eating a box of melbas--the crunching--and I enjoy it more--than I am eating that other stuff.

    I took the drops this morning and now--no matter what--I'm going to get me a burrito from McDonalds and some cinnaminis or whatever they are. I've had family drama--just got off the phone with my younger sister and her drama--talked to her an hour last night, an hour today. Family estate drama. It is like, "Colleen is hurting, time to hit her."

    So--somehow I'm going to get going on this diet. That thought that hcg61 put up is SOOOOO appropriate--SOOOOOOOOOO appropriate. I'm looking at all kinds of changes right now and I just want to run for cover. We'll find our way back to this diet. I want to have lost down to 199 by the end of April--gives me plenty of time. I need to call and get in to a psychiatrist to get me some valium or xanax or something. My sister gave me some, but it will be running out eventually. I've been taking very little, but it is my safety net. I've had 2 prescriptions for xanax in my entire life--no other benzos--I've just been forced to do antidepressants (where do you think much of my weight came from) and I won't do them again. I had a horrible experience on Effexor.

    Oh well, wasn't going to go on this long.

    Maybe we should pick a new start date for at least the 3 of us--next Monday? and pst a new thread?

    I'll be checking in, but, yes, I'm going to get my burrito this morning. I'd have been fine if my sister hadn't called.
  2. Laurie Taylor
    Laurie Taylor
    Do you have caller ID?? If not let the calls to voice mail and just delete. It may be what you need to do to detach from the drama.

    I'm way off the diet...... Next Mon. sounds good to me.

    I've been on anti-depressants for years. I do think that they cause weight!! I was on effexor and it just quit working. Now I'm on Cymbalta but I can take Savella in place ot the Cym. Something I have done some changing on my own...my doc trust me to change things. I stopped one of my arthritis drugs back in Dec. before my back surgery. I guess it takes a while before you notice it. All I know is that EVERYTHING hurts. So back on that this AM. I notice when I'm in pain I want carbs!

    Hang in there and try not to go too crazy w/ food and I'll try to do the same!
  3. time4me
    wow.. i have not been here in sooo long.. life is crazy all the time and i cannot seem to get a grip on myself.. I want to atart again but i am afraid of failing so I hesitate I know right that there are to many groceries in my house to start this coming week , but I am going to shoot for loading next weekend the 19th , I need to order drops right away , if you all start another thread please let me know so i can join in

  4. cl2
    I did HORRIBLE yesterday. I made myself SICK. I ate cashews and I'm retaining water. I feel so awful! So I'm going to start today and hope for the best.

    For me--Effexor made me RAGE. I'd go along for a while and be just fine and then I'd go ballistic. I realized it and I started to go off it. I had what they call "brain shivers." I couldn't even work. I'd cry while I was working because the computer screen seemed to jump around. I called the doctor (he was a horrible doctor--I could go into detail, but I won't) and he said he wouldn't tell me how to taper off it unless I came in and started a new antidepressant. I read on the internet and it said to immediately change over to Prozac, take Prozac for a few weeks, and then taper off Prozac (which I had done a few times already). That worked. The thing I NOTICED with doing that was the difference between "synthetic" feelings and "authentic" feelings--It was ASTOUNDING. I haven't been back on an antidepressant since--and I've been through my parents' deaths. I was on Prozac for years and it got to the point that I couldn't get off the bed. I KNEW I needed to get up and work, but doing so was like wading through drying cement. Every thing I did was such AN EFFORT. And I gained about 100 pounds on it. I lost some about 6 years ago. I have actually found hcg stabiizes my mood after a week. It may be the eating or it may be the drops.

    Right now--my brain is on overload and I didn't realize what was happening. I tend to fall into PTSD or ADD (my kids think I have it) and I have to control the environmental "stimulation" to deal with it. It is actually very difficult on me to deviate from my routine at all--I work every day for that very reason. I think that is why I like the simplicity of this diet (if I don't try to cook all the recipes they provide). OH and I did finally realize last night (takes me a while when I'm in PTSD) that I could TURN OFF MY PHONE while I work especially.

    Anyway--going to try to do it today JUST BECAUSE I feel SO ABSOLUTELY ROTTEN physically today. I haven't felt this bad since I started the diet back in August.

    So--I guess the question is--should we start a new group or keep this one going? It might be better to start a new group as we might get some new members. I hope hcg61 checks in. Who wants to start it--let's start it Monday and we could just call it mid March loaders or something so that it isn't specific to this coming Monday.

    I hope you start feeling better Laurie. My mother had rheumatoid arthritis and she would go off her meds now and then--it would shut her down completely.
  5. Laurie Taylor
    Laurie Taylor
    I say let's keep this thread going. We are all struggling and we can all continue to support each other.

    Colleen- You are one strong woman!! You are still STANDING!! Life is hard but know that you are heard and that we support you!! When drugs work it is great but when they don't it's a nightmare!! Glad you know yourself enough to know what works and what doesn't!!

    Laura- We are all struggling! I have just gone back to eating some of the things that caused my weight gain. WHY!?? Hang in there and keep hanging out with us. We'll all make progress together!!

    Sending out light and love to Japan!
  6. hcg61
    It's time for a change! I will start a new group & go w/Colleen's suggestion: 2011 Mid-March Loaders.
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